Midsummer's Dreams

Sabbeth (when it's all about so much more...)

2012-01-27T20:21:00.000-08:00

Today is a day of remembering. Here are some verses my fingers need to type out.

The Lord is righteous in all his ways and loving towards all he made.

The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on the truth. (ps145:17)

The Lord delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love. (ps147:11)

I cry aloud to the Lord; I lift my voice to the Lord for mercy..... When my spirit grows faint within me, it was you who know my way. (ps1421&3)

It's been a long few weeks (months... years) but I'm excited to see what God will do.

God,
Please bring me close to you. Keep me soft, keep me humble. continue working on my heart, don't stop now, even though I think it's uncomfortable. May I see even this time as a time of letting your glory shine. Help me rest in you.

p.s. We are made out of clay, aren't we? :)

an email

2012-01-17T21:21:00.000-08:00

If you're in ministry probably just the title of this post already has your skin crawling. How many messes get larger through emails.... so much so the pastor who oversees me has band me from having ministry related conversations with people through email, I must have them face to face or over phone.

Today a parent responded to our weekly news letter. They simply politely asked to be removed from the email list, as they have started to go to another church. (very simple, no drama)

I almost quickly responded in a similar fashion : "Sure, no problem :) " Before I could type it out I began to wonder....

Do I want it to seem like I'm happy they're gone? Or that it is no biggie, like deciding to use Firefox instead of Safari? I can't ask through email whats going on. I want to know why they left. Maybe it's a better fit for their family, maybe it's in their neighborhood. Maybe it's with family. These would all be positive reasons to leave.

But... I didn't hear a word about it...

Maybe their upset. Maybe they didn't feel like they fit in. Maybe...

But I didn't hear a word.

Maybe I should leave well enough alone.

Maybe I should ask.

You don't just walk out of peoples' lives.

They didn't teach me how to say goodbye.

singing and thoughts about life....

2011-12-12T22:47:00.000-08:00

This evening as we gathered to sing a friend from Zambia along with her mother sang a special song. They sang it in their people's tongue. The song was Come tho Fount (a fav) but it sounded different (very different). I've sung with this friend before but her singing hadn't stuck out to me like it did tonight, tonight I could hear so many levels of joy and love.

....

It reminded me of when we actually truly do, love, act, speak the way we (me or you) are meant too (not a bunch of well behaved clones but a bunch of people who are responding to this crazy love of God's) . How when someone is truly alive (jn10:10) it is like going from black and white to technicolor.... black n white is fine... but Toto we're not suppose to be in Kansas anymore.

Why do we try so very hard to be like others... we end up like nobody... but what is worse nobody is us... the real us that is meant to be LIVED.

A story, a story about Jesus and his crazy love for us.

2011-11-29T16:40:00.000-08:00

If you're looking for a children's Bible try "the Jesus Storybook Bible" it has colorful pictures and doesn't speak down to children but in a way they can understand, and importantly it's correct, it tells the truth. Sometimes when telling stories from the Bible to children we have trouble articulating the main points or feel like the edges should be softened (skip the stories of doubt & focus on love). This children's Bible does a good job of telling God's story of loving us and coming to save us, because we need saving.

Better then a fairy godmother (Prayer Summit part VI)

2011-11-28T23:56:00.000-08:00

I should be crawling into bed, or looking over the Bible study notes again, but really I just want to take a moment to remember.

Remember the room full of women who prayed together. Who wanted to give gifts to each other, who wanted to give god's gifts to each other, who wanted to give the life of God (their Father) to each other. We prayed life into families, ministries, marriages, and one another.

We had been spending the days before this listening and praying only what God wanted (led, whispered) us to pray, this time wasn't a time of pulling out a wish list and the women saying Amen to it, but rather we'd share a longing, dream, hope or sorrow and we would listen and

respond. So many blessings were spoken over people, words of life and encouragement given. At one point I thought 'Poor Aurora she only had 3 fairy godmothers, and here I am be wrapped in blessings by 34 women who are listening to the Father.'

:) :) It's good to remember.

(summit part V) steward |ˈst(y)oōərd| noun.• a person responsible for...

2011-11-20T23:03:00.000-08:00

Stewardship.

What have I been given to steward?

Made up of the words; stig (house) and weard (ward)

What house have I been given to look after?

Who (or whom) have I been given to look after?

Remember they are some one else'. Look after them like he would want me to.

Look after them like he designed me too.

Look after them with the heart that comes from him.

Don't give up.

Care for well.

There is such freedom in being given permission to love.

"Glory" Prayer Summit part IV

2011-11-19T17:09:00.000-08:00

Definition
	glory, honour, glorious, abundance abundance, riches honour, splendour, glory honour, dignity honour, reputation honour, reverence, glory glory
Translated Words
	KJV (200) - glorious, 10; gloriously, 1; glory, 156; honour, 32; honourable, 1; NAS (202) - bosom, 1; glorious, 9; glory, 147; honor, 33; honorable, 1; honored, 1; riches, 1; soul, 2; splendid, 2; splendor, 2; wealth, 3; You have glory I've taken the gifts You've given me and twisted them to make me feel safe A month of regretting and hoping for another chance Wanting others to see You Feeling apart from others Feeling color fade Wanting to be near You Wanting to be wrapped up by You You heard my pleas You wrapped me in Your cloak of glory, of life, of color.

A song, one of many

2011-11-19T16:56:00.000-08:00

THERE IS A HOPE
by Stuart Townend and Mark Edwards
Copyright (c) 2007 Thankyou Music.

There is a hope that burns within my heart,
That gives me strength for ev'ry passing day;
a glimpse of glory now revealed in meager part,
Yet drives all doubt away:
I stand in Christ, with sins forgiv'n;
and Christ in me, the hope of heav'n!
My highest calling and my deepest joy,
to make His will my home.

There is a hope that lifts my weary head,
A consolation strong against despair,
That when the world has plunged me in its deepest pit,
I find the Savior there!
Through present sufferings, future's fear,
He whispers, "Courage!" in my ear.
For I am safe in everlasting arms,
And they will lead me home.

There is a hope that stands the test of time,
That lifts my eyes beyond the beckoning grave,
To see the matchless beauty of a day divine
When I behold His face!
When sufferings cease and sorrows die,
and every longing satisfied,
then joy unspeakable will flood my soul,
For I am truly home.

create |krēˈāt| verb [ trans. ] bring (something) into existence : he created, God is Creator (The last Friday journel & summit part III)

2011-11-18T20:09:00.000-08:00

Over the last month (and then some) has been a time of rediscovery, rediscovering of my calling and who I am.

One thing that became clear is that I have decided being creative publicly isn't worth the cost. Since I stopped creativity publicly, privately creativity has been quickly drying up, so much so to the point when someone asks me to create I can't even begin to think of what I would do. A lost feeling.

This past week at the summit there was an art table, to help us express what God had impressed upon our hearts. On Monday a picture came to mind as a way to describe what we were feeling. When I shared this mental image with a lady she asked if I was artistically talented at all. Honestly with a quiet "Yes" I answered. She pointed to the art table and asked me to try and show us what I saw. There at that moment I wanted to break down in tears and say no, ask me to do anything else but not drawing. I was slightly terrified.
I imagined no one could see me, picked up some charcoal and started. After that first picture was done it took all the guts I could muster to set it down on the sharing table.

It wasn't until I was finishing up drawing number 4 that I realized I was doing it again, I was creating. After wandering in the desert at last I could smell the cool air of the forest and hear the song bird's melody.

Dear God,
You create. You created me. You made me in your image. I'm sorry I hid from You, that I let the fear rule what I would do, even how I thought. Please take these hands back. Please fill my mind with dreams again.

Leaf (summit part II)

2011-11-18T19:17:00.000-08:00

We were asked on Tuesday morning to read 2nd Corinthians 3,4 & 5 (to stop when we felt stopped) to see if there was something we needed to repent of (or exchange what was good for what is better) something individuality or on behalf us corporately.

I believe it was Providential that I wrote down the wrong passages, definitely wrote 4,5 & 6. Off I went to read and was stopped at 2nd Corinthians 4:8-12 eph on 10-12

We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. ¹¹ For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. ¹² So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

So many of us know the death in our lives. We carry death in our own bodies, our muscles and joints are in pain, we have emotional scares on, are pressed beyond what we thought we could handle. We get overwhelmed and stop in our tracks, death was never meant to be.

But...

It speaks of the life of Jesus that is in those who have given up saving themselves and lean on him, Jesus. It confirms the suspicion that we are dying but also reminds us that Jesus life is showing through us, in us.

Life is already there.

When we regrouped to continue praying none of the prayers (remember listening) were simalur to what I had been given. They prayed about being clay pots that God's glory shinned through, but how hard it is being clay.

I waited.

I shared with one of the leaders. She didn't correct my reading or interpretation; instead, prayed for clarity, and stewardship.

I waited. (thought: how could I show whats on my heart?)

They prayed about glory and a veil. Still there was a longing of life that seemed unobtainable.

I waited. (started work on a leaf, one side is dead the other is very much alive. The death shows off the life. The leaf took a while to think of and fashion, all the while I longed for the women to know they already have the life, the life of Jesus, that they are longing for)

Then we sat down. There was a chair in the middle for someone to sit in who wanted prayer. They explaind the prayers were going to be different then those in past years, this was a chair of life, for those seeking life in the dark areas. Those who wanted anointing. For those who wanted to set aside the satcloth and ashes and be robed in God's glory.

The leaf was set aside, they had arrived.

Breath...

2011-11-18T15:44:00.000-08:00

Inhale words from God
Exhale speech to those around.

This last week I attended for the first time the NW Women in Ministry Prayer Summit. They have been happening for the last 20ish years. Not everyone there is in fulltime paid ministry but everyone there is committed to pouring all there life out to God as a living sacrifice.

We gathered in a beautiful prayer room, it had stations and an art table, there was a circle of 35 chairs.

it was explained that we must listen well, listen to what God was saying and listen to what the other women were praying. Asked God what he wanted you to say (offer) then listen to those around you to wait for the opportune moment to share, you might have to wait days to share.

The offerings of prayer might be; prayers how we normally think of them (talking pleading recognizing, claiming) talking with God, it might be a passage of scripture, a song, a work of art, a picture (or a scene) you see in your mind.

We would break for meals and rest time then regroup to continue praying, we might share what we heard from the last prayer time to help know where to start.

The women who lead us were very kind. I think of how sometimes when you are in the woods and listening hard for something, maybe a bird, and if you are still and set aside all the other noises (trees, bugs, water, your own panting) you can hear it you can follow it, that is some of what comes to mind when I think of them. Their eyes didn't see your face but into your soul and beyond it into the spiritual world surrounding it.

I think this is the end of the introduction, make sure to read the post that will follow.

Have you ever hidden candy in your light up princess boots?

2011-11-09T23:45:00.000-08:00

Dad recently restocked the candy jar on my desk....

(thank you Dad) I always wonder who eats the candy, during the week kids don't really come into the office and they defiantly don't come in on Sundays, yet without fail the candy jar runs out of candy.

..... tonight I made a new friend Mia, her older sister was setled into a small group with other kids her own age but Mia was 5 1/2, too young for any of the groups which means she was in my group. A group of 2. As we wandered the halls hand in hand checking on kids and pretending we were invisible we became friends. As we passed the office I remembered there was candy in the candy jar.... we snuck in and out of the office I was so very thankful for my dad and his foresight. Downstairs we found Anthony, another 5 year-old. He is a rather shy little man but his smile is one of the best, so no matter how shy he's being you have to try to trick a smile out of him. We did what all 5 year-olds love to do, we ran. Back and forth on one leg then another, this time skipping this time with our eyes closed, just running, just being 5, just enjoying the thrill of being fast. Afterwards we manged to get Anthony some candy.

There is no great ending to this story. it was just about candy and being with kids and the joys of candy, and really about joy that taste like candy.

2nd Friday of October

2011-10-28T16:55:00.000-07:00

Here is the tone of life:
spent time getting lost in Pickwick Papers.
Laughed with the kids as we pretended to be animals.
Went on a walk with a good friend while talking about soul stuff.
Got to teach in the elementary age Sunday morning.
Had coffee with a dear friend, heard what God is doing in & with his life.
Had yummy soup!
Friend & I pretended we were in a mountain house, staring at the beautiful trees.
Listening to Dr. Peter Kreeft lecture on the "Language of Beauty".
Reminded of the sweetness of going to God with everything.
Contemplating the new song He is putting in my mouth.
Learning to let go...

What then?

2011-10-28T16:33:00.000-07:00

Recently I went to God with a tough subject, we talked about factors that went into it and possible outcomes. The underlining theme of where we ended up is that He is going to take care of me, I don't need to fear or fret or wonder, God who made me and cares for me, will be with me no matter the outcome.

And now, after times of forgetting it, I'm trying to cling to it. Cling to the promise that God will take care of me, that he is holding my heart. I'm trying to cling to Him. He says He wont every let go, but I don't want to forget and let Him go.

October, 1st Friday

2011-10-07T23:20:00.000-07:00

(p.s)The month of October is a month or remembering, not remembering what has been (though that is good in it's place) instead a month of remembering who I am at the core, and what I'm about.

Off the top of my head I can tell you I'm a daughter of God, living to give him glory, and the special job he's given me is to tell his story to children. So why spend a month on this? Because thou I know this it's time to rediscover it. To let it sink in again and deeper. It's been a long year and lots of hard and or good things have filled my life, this month is a time to see past all that and refocus on the core.

Not sure yet how much will be shared here... I'm gona pretend it doesn't matter.....

Child of God..... That's what I am, alllllll the other things are add ons that will be forgotten about or change... but God doesn't change. He didn't need to but he took me (plain me) into his healthy happy family, he wanted me to be at the dinner table so very much that he arranged that I'd always be able to be there. Didn't have to, but chose to. he's got my back.

Liven' to give glory.... was wondering how much of myself (personality, heart...) I should let the world get to know, because I've noticed a pattern (get to know someone, become friends, goodbye comes, heart bleeds, wondering how many pieces of my heart have fallen off and how many do I have left.... ).... So I asked God about it and he very clearly said "You were made for my glory, thus you should be fully you to bring me my full glory." I argued that that I could spend some very sad days in the future there could be unhappiness that follows. In short if I live fully I will hurt fully. To which he answered he could handle anything that comes my way.

Telling his' story....... it's not about me it's about him he is about redemption and love and I can choose to let him take me there so I can explain it better, but I'll never understand if i think it's about me.

Going on a Gypsy trip to the mountain...

2011-09-19T19:06:00.001-07:00

Headed off to sleep, rediscover the love of reading, have my eyes reopened to the beauty around me (and capturing it on paper) and spend some much needed time with my family.

bye for now....

May you all be filled with the peace of God.

(one suitcase for books and art supplies and one suitcase for all my favorite cloths :)

a letter....

2011-09-07T21:18:00.000-07:00

(prescript: Dear Reader, thought this letter would give you a little insight to my summer, enjoy...)

Dear Elders,
This is a follow up note of when we last officially spoke in the Spring.
Randy and I talked with you about testing and changing curriculum for Sunday mornings and the challenges we foresaw.

Well for starters most of the teachers really did like the new curriculum(Tru) even the few that had objections their objections pointed out the good traits of Tru (they felt it was too evangelism centered). We tried Tru for the month of May (and have continued through the Summer), the teachers liked it, but it was clear training would have to happen to be able to use the teacher's and the curriculum's full potential. This Fall is going to be time of a lot of training and empowering teachers.

As for the families, the only feedback I've heard is positive. Kids understanding the stories and being challenged about a day to day relationship with God. Two words I hear a lot from teachers and parents are "Grasp" and "Understand".
One mom talked about how for her daughter her relationship with God was no longer abstract but rather he is a apart of this world she lives in and will she join in on His adventure and take Him at His word. Bobbie Jo told me Macie has a sudden fascination with reading her Bible. Macie sat down to read, starting in Genesis, because she wants to know what God's story is. Shannan shared with me that now when she asks what they talked about at church both kids can tell her the stories and their meanings. Shannan says they are understanding it in such a way now that it is nourishing to their spiritual souls. Shannan was also quick to point out that the "hand outs" that are emailed to the parents are also nourishing, and full of ideas that slip into a families day to day life.

Something that deserves a whole paragraph of it's own is: Blessings. It's how we end class each Sunday. Blessings in general is something that has been slowing taking over all of Montavilla in a beautiful way, and now it's picking up speed with the kids. When the class draws to an end the kids gather around one parent who speaks words of blessing over them. Blessings are making their way into the homes also. Tim Swindler is currently in Scotland, and Tuesday was his daughter Darby's first day of school. Tim and Shannan had already prepared a blessing Tim was going to speak over her on the phone before she left, but before he mentioned it Darby asked Tim to bless her, because she knew her heart needed those words of encouragement and protection as she headed out on the adventure of school.

Attached are two letters that parents sent during the summer that I thought you might enjoy.

Thanks again for your support. The Spring was harder then Randy and I had reckoned for. But without fail each Sunday that I was full of doubt and discouragement, you fine men (or a wife of yours:) gave me a hug and reassured me of your love, your support and of God's calling in my life and God's love for His bride. Thank you.

Thursday evening....

2011-08-18T19:08:00.000-07:00

Today is one of those sing song days...

Everything has managed to be pleasant all day. A day with family, work and friends. A day with a summer breeze and the rustle of leaves.

Something neat I've discovered is Pinterest, which inspired me to patch my jeans.... and then I'll add a bird and elephant (I imagine I'll add pictures later) Also inspired me to die my hair many colors... we"ll see.

Fun fact: Saturday is cooking day. First brunch then dinner for Sycamore (or here) .... it's been a while since I've cooked so it'll be a fun adventure ;) At the moment I feel very womanly (we'll see how long that last :)

But right now my fort is calling my name asking me to bring our friend Mr. Book.

Dear God,

2011-07-08T16:37:00.001-07:00

Thank you for the many different ways you have shown me you are caring for me. Thank you that this last year has been a year of blessing I wouldn't have thought of from friends I'm grateful for.

The Generosity of a father of many...

The Necklace from a a women who has nothing to give...

Wine from a friend who wishes to refresh your servants...

Beautiful Sandals from a friend who wants to spread your gospel...

Kisses from children you have called for me to love....

A Place of Peace from fellow soldiers in this battle....

Story books from a brother that wishes to tell your story....

May my eyes and heart to be open to see you all around me...

One evening there was a girl...

2011-06-22T19:07:00.000-07:00

She holds her mama's hand as mama wanders through the lines of insecurity.
She whispers sweet nothings into the cats ears,
While making dinner she explained her plan of giving away her toys to the children who didn't have any.... even though she hasn't been able to play with her's for months.
She sang a song about love in a way that is fitting for her view of it,
She gave me Mr Monkey Martin to hold while she ate dinner....

She brightens the day, so glad she's apart of mine :)

Wake up!! It's time to be alive!

2011-05-22T15:20:00.000-07:00

Dear Soul,
Good morning, It's time to wake up and smell the earth and feel the sun soak through the cold disappointment of the winter. Spring has sung the flowers out of their hiding places. It's time, dear little heart, to stop hiding, time to dwell with the sweet breeze, time to name every soft head around you. To lead them to laughter and beauty, to wonder. Time to discover the words strong, courageous, victory and freedom. Come Soul, bathe in peace and grace. Delight in the gifts around you given by the Father above.

sincerely,

yours

"...And the voice I hear falling on my ear....."

2011-03-14T00:42:00.000-07:00

God has a really big heart. If I were to sum up what God has shown me in the last 6 months it would be: He has a big heart and He has cool plans.

He cares about everyone. He knows each person there pain and joy and hope. Every moment of the day he feels it with you. He can handle anything we bring his way, not as a callus judge, but as a friend who knows you so well he knows whats going on in your head and heart.

Today I was sitting next to a great friend, for a moment I thought about the corners of his heart he's let me see, then it struck me that God has been sitting next to my friend every day... waiting... waiting to be let into the conversation.

This Fall it was cool seeing how God arranged everything to be in place for when my friend was lost and looking for a way out, he had already set up a safety net so when she fell it would be only so far and no further.

Is every story a happy ending? Nope, not at all. Do I or anyone understand pain? No. Does God care for each of us? Yes. Is God brave enough for all of us to lean on Him, to fight our battles with us? Yep you bet :)

just some thoughts :)

:)

2011-03-14T00:36:00.000-07:00

just experienced a turn around emotion :) :) oh happy day!

meaning: for a long time I felt one way about something,

then knew I should feel differently,

different just happened.... for a moment.... it was there :)

goldfish....

2011-01-31T10:41:00.001-08:00

God has shown me insight to how big He is by showing me how small my goldfish are.

Dear God,

2011-01-09T00:52:00.000-08:00

There are still things on earth that I want to do but, I'd rather you just came so hurt would be over. I love these people, and I don't want to see them in any more pain.

Love,
Anna

2010-11-29T10:36:00.000-08:00

....They don't make love like that anymore
is that too much to be asking for?
I wanta love like Johnny and June....

Halloween wish

2010-10-30T01:45:00.000-07:00

To sit with some good friends and wait for the Great Pumpkin!

The girl at the bar....

2010-10-26T00:34:00.000-07:00

It's Monday afternoon, I tie my hair up in a bun, slip on a brown apron and begin to pull shots. The air is full of the smell of coffee and fresh pastries. Some people order coffee that taste like coffee, and some order coffee that has no coffee taste left under the piles of flavor. We talk small talk, talk about the weekend, the weather, travel plans, sometimes we share our life journey. Trying to make them feel at home in the midst of a full day. People tend to like to talk. Except the girl.

She is a 6th grade ish (who knows) I've never gotten a full sentence from her that wasn't a question. She comes in with her dad (I think) and just stands at the bar watching me, and the coffee, and the coffee drinkers, until her dad is done with his coffee meeting and they leave.

One can't help but wonder about her. She is so quiet, but I believe she trully enjoys being around people, she could have just read a book, but instead stands watching for sometimes up to a hour. Today I explained to her why we time shots; I also found out she hasn't seen Toy Story 2 yet, but would like to. It came out that she hasn't seen any of the Toy Story movies..... really PIXAR? Is her father trying to save her from the evils of PIXAR??? I was scared to ask her if she had ever seen a movie. She is a girl full of secrets and will never tell one of them. I wonder if her life is always quiet and she doesn't know what to do with words or if life is a shouting match and she doesn't want to add to the noise.

So the two of us stand at the bar smiling trying to understand the other's life.

thoughts....

2010-10-11T00:14:00.000-07:00

fall, not spring, is the beginning of my year
seeds, bulbs... growing
taking another step towards being whom I am meant to be... think: walking deeper into light
moves, change, choice
hurt, pain, suffering, hiding- giving up vs. fighting to the death
this world is WAY bigger then me
love, romance, adventure, trust
understanding not just hearing, and learning to listen for whats not said
friends, dear friends, best friends, being a friend
acting in love through fear not because of fear

Happy Wedding !!!!!!

2010-09-17T15:07:00.000-07:00

odd...

2010-09-17T14:41:00.000-07:00

Things you do to prepare for a wedding :)

Sunday 29th

2010-08-29T19:16:00.000-07:00

On a retreat with Bono and Annie Dillard..... I can breath

red, blue, yellow...

2010-08-12T00:47:00.000-07:00

So lately I've been struck by color. Tonight we had a party at the house decorated with Chines lanterns hanging across the garden, I thought it was the most beautiful things I had seen in a while. Yesterday, at our favorite lunch shop, there was painting titled "the birth of a star" full of pinks and yellows, somehow I knew that's what a stars birth looked like; full of color, not surrounded with blackness. I always knew I liked color but, there is something about color I love. It stands up and asks to be noticed, it doesn't say sorry for hanging on your wall. It isn't sad and tired of being. It's alive and wants to keep living, and will remind you how to live.

filming...

2010-06-14T00:03:00.000-07:00

This is similar to where we were filming on Saturday. It was so beautiful I wanted to share it with you :)

Today....

2010-05-31T19:14:00.000-07:00

after a yummy meal, my cousin and I talked about shifts in the Church that we felt would soon come; choices she (the church) would have to make, and a mindset that *might* alter. We continued in the conversation talking about how the body of Christ is not limited to the church I worship with but truly the catholic Church. How are we being the Bride if we are a severed body that doesn't trust each other?

Some interesting thoughts for a sunny afternoon.

April 14th

2010-04-14T23:37:00.000-07:00

It's raining. I can hear the soft drops land. The road is gleaming with water. the air is full of a sweet scent. The wind is hardly moving; just enough for the trees to dance.

waiting to feel better

2010-02-24T23:53:00.000-08:00

wishing the hurt would just leave...

you don't see these tears,
what's new
I've never let you see them before,
but now you never will.
I can't call you to tell you of the ache inside,
it's made of joys I want to share
and of the sorrow
knowing I never will.

we wait on you, use us to rock this city, please :)

2010-02-06T10:58:00.000-08:00

Having trouble seeing Portland as a dark city, there might only be a handful of churches here but they love God, long for God, they know they are "the church of Portland" and it shines out like a bonfire on a hill.

God, ....

2010-01-07T01:34:00.000-08:00

......alright.... everything else is a bow on the package.

psalm 4

2010-01-04T10:32:00.000-08:00

Go read it.
So good. Verses 6&7, they(the people) are all asking "who will show us any good?" It wasn't their false gods (vs2) Answer:" Let the light of your face shine upon us, O Lord" the writer goes on to say that God has given him joy that goes beyond the the feeling of a successful harvest. - They are looking for the things around them to make them happy, and be happy about, right down to looking at idles around them. But the writer has found God gives great joy (a state beyond circumstances).
Ahhh days like today I wish I could read Hebrew, so I could understand better who all is talking in this psalm.....
Did I mention verse 8? "I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety." I think he understands who his life belongs to. :)

white |(h)wīt|

2009-12-10T13:12:00.000-08:00

white |(h)wīt|
adjective
1 of the color of milk or fresh snow, due to the reflection of most wavelengths of visible light; the opposite of black

What a good color, compared to milk and fresh snow. :)

Yes!! Another Autumn day...

2009-10-18T17:28:00.000-07:00

summer kids' club

2009-07-31T23:46:00.000-07:00

It was quite the adventure, going where no man has gone before, making it up as we went along and watching God put the pieces in place. So many ways he showed himself, and encouraged.

It was great walking around the church seeing a princes chase a prince in one room, a beach in an other, boys running around in trench coats with laser tag guns, a mass of kids dressed as birds and dogs, and what could beat Tommie in his button up shirt talking in his very matter of fact way while wearing a cat-ear headband. Yeah! for creativity. God is not boring.

Now sleep a good cry and eating regularly are on the list of things to do.

God, Help !!!

2009-07-20T23:34:00.000-07:00

God, Help. I want to be able to give myself. I think S.F. is right, I hide from people. Mom's right I don't really tell people what's going on. I'm hitting a wall with cg knowing I'm on the edge, that I need to either jump in and open up (which also means willing to love them, give away more of my heart) or float away. It's like a great tug-of-war game is going on in my soul. The desire to be known, have some roots (even if they are shorter, then most) The fear is to hurt again, I want to be done with good-byes, if I give away my heart to these people there might be none left for latter. And it's not just them, also with other friends.

It's not them, it's the hundreds of people (literally) before them that I've loved and said good-bye to.

Every one has been kind. Down through the ages move after move, box after box, new church after new church they have all been kind.

Love is like manure you can only grow when you spread it around. (true)

God, help me to do it again, to make the effort, to look them in the eye, and dare to care about them, again, to keep caring, not cut them off when it's authentic, when they care, only because I'm scared of being hurt... of the pain... of what joy we would miss out on if we never experienced pain.

I can't believe the news today, why can't I close my eyes and make it go away?

2009-06-26T12:49:00.000-07:00

I'm ready to do something, to try and make a change, I'm tired of life going on this way and people not seeming to realize something is wrong. So I'll keep doing what is asked of me and remind the world of the way things were meant to be back in the age of joy.

Back in Portland

2009-06-08T20:55:00.000-07:00

eight months... what happened?

2009-05-14T09:52:00.000-07:00

Trying to think over some of what I've learned here, on this adventure.

When I wasn't with family I was with fellow students or coworkers. Equals. comrades. These last few months my eyes have been open to being alone. There are way more situations at church that are designed for a couple or family then I would have guessed. They are simply awkward alone. This might have been heightened by the fact there are only three (yes three) 'out of college non parents' attending this church.

The wish to be somewhere long term. It took seven months for me to slip into place, know the people and know how to get things done. I can't help but wonder what would happen if I stayed somewhere and got to be involved in children's lives not just for a week or a few months but years. Getting to be there when they are first hearing about God, and staying alongside as they grow and go deeper, challenging them, mentoring them, and seeing them head off to see how they can reclaim this world for God. This seems an absurd dream because my current average is 19 months.

That God provides for me. It looks silly written there, but it had to be learned. In the past it was "God provides for my family" Over and over again growing up we would see how God was taking care of us. However there were six of us, and we were missionaries of course God was going to take care of us, but now it was just little Anna, all by herself at the grocery store. John 6:5-6 (said with a smile)

Thoughts on leadership in the church have been rolling around in my mind for the past couple of years. The thoughts were intensified this last year. Because here I was teaching kids about God, which is a terrifying thought and even more scary if you're not sure if it's a Biblical thing to do. Should a women lead? Who can she lead? What about preaching? And many more questions all boiled down to one answer Dr. Mary gave me over a year ago:" Do what God asks you to do." Simple.

Last: a wish to be bold.

There is more I've learned but you'll have to ask me out to coffee to hear it :)

Thoughts before leaving- Tuesday

2009-05-12T11:15:00.000-07:00

The word Doorway.

That Nathan, Eli and Jake want me to be their sister.

That I should start the packing process

That I like Andrew Bird's album Armchair Apocrypha

Today is the first of my last lunches

I wish I was bold

Is Frozen

2009-05-11T11:02:00.000-07:00

Thought you should know.

They almost made the cut

2009-05-06T11:23:00.000-07:00

It was my job to find a Mother's Day poem for the kids to put on a card, and these didn't quiet make it, but I liked them so now you get to read them! ! ! (lucky you)

Poems and Lyrics

In All Honor

Every man, for the sake of the great blessed Mother in Heaven, and for the love of his own little mother on earth, should handle all womankind gently, and hold them in all Honor.

- Alfred Lord Tennyson

Angels of God

They are angels of God in disguise;
His sunlight still gleams in their tresses;
His glory still gleams in their eyes.

- Charles M. Dickinson

Wonderful Mother

God made a wonderful mother,
A mother who never grows old;
He made her smile of the sunshine.
And He moulded her heart of pure gold;
In her eyes He placed bright shining stars,
In her cheeks fair roses you see;
God made a wonderful mother,
And He gave that dear mother to me.

- Pat O'Reill

Richer Then Gold

You may have tangible wealth untold;
Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold.
Richer than I you can never be -
I had a mother who read to me.

- Strickland Gillilan (1869-1954)

A Precious Mother

Mom You've given me so much,
Love from your heart and the warmth of your touch.

The gift of life and you're a friend to me.
We have a very Special Bond which only comes from God...
I'm sure you agree.

As a child I would say Mommy I Love You,
Now you're my Mother so dear
I love you even more with each and every new year.

If I could had chosen, I would have picked no other.
Than for you ... to be my lifelong friend and Precious Mother.

- Author Unknown.

Sailing Oh for there only to be seven seas...

2009-05-03T22:41:00.000-07:00

starting to put pieces together
along the bank I walk
I must
swim I could
but sail I must
wandering over to this scrap and the next
picking them up and carefully
oh so carefully
adding them to the rest

I take out from my jacket pocket
dazzling white
my sail
which sewn with threads of thoughts
and a sheet of dreams (not yet written on)

and here with scraps of my soon past
and my always never reached future
I head out again on the mighty sea of change

sailing into the vast,
but never lost
for above my head unchanging (no matter where my pillow be)
are the heavens
they guide me
the moon
it pulls me
the sun
it warms me
and the sea breeze...
whispers sweets into my ear

no matter where raft or feet might go

Books

2009-04-30T12:31:00.000-07:00

It is interesting what he has to say and that he says it from a "this is what I see happening" viewpoint, the man knows a lot from asking questions and observing. I'd recommend reading this book if you plan on ever working with or living with children.

In our lust for the latest and the greatest, we are apt to ignore the lessons of the past and fail to explore our connections to the historic Church. Have you noticed that these days there is little sense of spiritual heritage that gets passed from one generation to the next of believers to the next?

Select almost any section of the Old Testament and you encounter stories about what was done in the past by the person's spiritual forefathers. These days we barely know our relatives, much less what they believed and how they lived their lives in the light of God's Word and calling. The result is that each generation feels as if it is reinventing Christianity- and a lot of spiritual wisdom and truth gets lost in the process.

George Barna - Transforming Children into Spiritual Champions

Eighteen Days...

2009-04-29T09:21:00.000-07:00

eighteen days...

four school lunches

three more Sundays

two more Mondays

one more Impact lesson

Then what? How very exciting....

I think it should be called Black Friday, but that is already taken

2009-04-10T11:04:00.000-07:00

yummy

2009-04-07T12:36:00.001-07:00

For Abigail

2009-04-06T20:44:00.000-07:00

(the way you would write it :)

First gently
then
with a windy rush
she dances over the hills.
Towards you
with arms open wide
she runs.

She wraps you
in colorful garb
jeweled with crocuses
and
daffy down dillies .
With golden sun
she strokes your hair.
Sets your heart free
with the song
of the soaring bird.

Here on this day
she comes
baring gifts
of beauty
of joy,
of life,
of color
of the earth wakening

All here
to celebrate
your birthday.

For Abigail

2009-04-06T20:43:00.000-07:00

(how I would write it)

First gently, then with a windy rush she dances over the hills.
Towards you, with arms open wide she runs.

She wraps you in colorful garb
jeweled with crocuses
and daffy down dillies .
With golden sun she strokes your hair.
Sets your heart free with the song of the soaring bird.

Here on this day she comes baring gifts of beauty, joy, life, color,
and sound of the earth wakening

All here
to celebrate
your birthday.

It would be okay, really.

2009-03-24T10:32:00.000-07:00

I wouldn't mind being out of a job.

If you all want to have a great marriage, and train your kids in the way they should go, I'd be okay with no longer having a job.

Practically though, as long as church services happen I will have a job.

Prayer... more thoughts

2009-03-23T11:30:00.000-07:00

Fall of 93 my family was in limbo waiting to leave but still around. We lived with some friends who had a daughter in my kindergarten class. Kindergarten was great, and what made it better was it was in the afternoon.
A day as I remembered it:

Wake up
play with the cat
get ready
eat
go to school
go home in the sunshine
play with my friend
all the kids (and the ones next-door) playing cops and robbers
going to sleep

Life was good.

I don't remember very much of what the grown-ups did, Hilary and I were busy playing with Barbies and making up our own language, but I do have two memories with her father in them. First one morning as I wondered upstairs to eat breakfast/lunch I saw the parents (and maybe others) in the living room praying. Second Everyone from both families was standing in a circle we were praying together, I'm not sure what about, I remember thinking it was odd we were standing next to the arcade games that lived in the basement.

All this to say, out of all the memories I could have of Hilary's father (and don't) the only ones I do have are of him praying.

...Morning Snowy a on Thoughts

2009-03-17T14:36:00.000-07:00

It just happened to be last nights reading was Mark 9:33-37

It caused a smile to appear on my face.

Timing.

He has great timing.

Monday Nothing to Share

2009-03-16T20:11:00.000-07:00

She sifts through them all one by one,
none are complete,
she picks one up- only to toss it aside.
Up and down the rows of desks she meanders,
covered with typewriters and papers
they look as if it should be there.
Maybe she missed it,
maybe something happened while she was out.
Time is coming closer,
she has nothing to show.

The sound of her heels is the only sound left,
and they too, soon leave the room.

Thoughts on a snowy morning...

2009-03-16T10:43:00.000-07:00

When you aren't sure what you are saying but you know it needs to be said. When you no longer care what the world thinks.....

Why do Christians lower themselves to do cheep copies of others?

If being a leader means to be a servant how can I do that? Can I do that in the Church? Will I be able to have a family and be a servant leader without missing out on the lives of my family?

Where is the line? Is there a line?

Everyone should serve.

Are prophets outspoken people who God is teaching to say what He wants? Or are they maybe quiet people who struggle with speaking at all?

Do women tend to be more misguided then men when it comes to spiritual things?

Why is it that they tend to be the anchor of a family (not mine but others)

Where did we misplace the men? Has anyone seen them?

After being in charge for so long will we let them lead?

If I can't shepherd a Church body (which I'm fine with and agree) then is it really okay for me to shepherd the kids? They are tomorrow's body. Is everybody okay with this?

Family! If only the family was what it was meant to be most of these questions would be gone!!

Great...

God, If you wanted to today would be fine. (sure I'd like that house in the country close to the city, but I'll get over it : )

Sunday

2009-03-15T12:00:00.001-07:00

Ten more.

Processing

2009-03-05T18:21:00.000-08:00

Sunday I was met with an unexpected turn of events (or maybe a factor over looked, that was brought to attention)

When I think working with kids I think; spending time with them, having fun, listening to them, praying for pets, runny noses, showing them truth about God, showing them how to have a friendship with their Creator, cleaning knees, looking for lost things, trying to communicate with parents, being tired, not wanting to do anything else with my life, filled with holy fear.

Something I had not thought of was: death.

Death.

True while working at camp sometimes I had a camper that was working through a death that had reshaped their world but that was about 1 in 3oo.

Today I went to my first funeral as someone officially involved in Children's Ministries. I was there for one child in particular. A girl in third grade. It was her grandfather's funeral.

As she walked towards my post of directing visitors towards the dinner line, I saw her, my heart fell to pieces. He was dead. How could I ever hope to explain why he was happy in Heaven while she misses him here on earth?

Not only her but all the children after her, after today.

Prayer... more thoughts....and questions

2009-02-27T10:37:00.000-08:00

The other evening around the dinner table I asked the boys I babysit (we'll call them the three brothers of the mountain : ) what they thought prayer was, how can you pray, do you need to say anything, can doing something that pleases God be a prayer, can playing outside be praying.... and other question and they answered each one with no or very little hesitation. Things I've been mulling over they somehow already know, and feel certain about.

As I sat there listening to the three brothers of the mountain discuss prayer while dunking their grilled cheese sandwiches into their bowls of soup. I thought about the Holy Spirit. How he helps us speak to God, and how he works in our life if we let him. Also I thought about all the unlearning we have to do in the Christian walk (don't misunderstand me, God has given wisdom to many people and it is a privilege to be taught by them) For instance as a child Mom is talking to Grandma on the phone, Mom hands you the phone so Grandma can talk to you. Grandma says hi- and you smile, Grandma asks if you like all the snow- you nod your head. Mom steps in and says Grandma can't see you so you need to use words.
I could explain other things we need to unlearn but I think you get the picture.

Last thought: Maybe there is more to childlike faith then I thought...

My Answer

2009-02-23T20:44:00.000-08:00

The patter of rain failing from the full gutters mingles with the pure voices claiming undying love in a way only opera can. Here watching the grey clouds roll by my mind goes back to a question on an almost starless night. "Have you thought of saving the world?"It was asked almost in a whisper because it was to exciting to be overheard. Have I? Yes! The answer is yes! How do I plan on saving it? By saving tomorrow. By showing children how to live. Telling them about light, love and life. Then when they are older and someone asks them what they want to do with their life they will answer "Live in the light". When they have children they will pass on what I tried to teach them: to love, to seek light and to live. That is my plan to save the world, one childhood at a time.

Prayer... more thoughts

2009-02-17T09:32:00.000-08:00

Psalm 44 at first seemed like the normal "God you're cool" psalm, then it turned into "Our lives stink" also a standard theme for a psalm, normally because the psalmist has forgotten God, then it turns into "We have been faithful" odd seeing how their lives stink, then as it nears the end the psalmist tells God (and I quote) :

"Awake, O Lord! Why do you sleep?
Rouse yourself! Do not reject us forever.
why do you hide your face
and forget our misery and oppression?"

He then reminds God of his (God's) unfailing love.

All in all a rather surprising psalm. The strangest part for me isn't the emotions the psalmist went through. I think I've felt all of those, no the strange part is that it's in the Bible.

Think about it, we know that the Bible is inspired. And here we have someone complaining/pleading with God. Is that okay? There isn't a post script saying the man was killed by lightning after he penned the words.

It seems there is another aspect of prayer that I haven't thought about.

Quote

2009-02-10T10:16:00.000-08:00

We would not make our prayers the importuning of Thee, an omnipotent God, to do what we want Thee to do. Rather, give us the vision, the courage, that shall enlarge our horizons and stretch our faith to the adventure of seeking Thy loving will for our lives.

Peter Marshall

Kids and cold water

2009-02-05T10:48:00.001-08:00

Wednesday was full of sun as I walked the five or so blocks to the elementary school. Lunch today was corndogs, a favorite. Quietly I signed in and headed to the cafeteria. The ladies behind the counter know me and kindly gave me two corndogs and jokingly told me not to let the kids see.

Over to the 1st & 2nd grader table I went. They scooted and I had a seat. They all notice within a matter a seconds that I had a second corndog. When asked I simple said "They just put it on my plate" (which was completely true) Then the kids started talking about how nice the kitchen ladies are, and how they gave one of the boys a cup of cold water. They went on and on about how they handed him the styrofoam cup full of water, and how nice they were.

During this conversation a particular teacher on lunch duty walked by and remind the kids to talk quietly and keep eating. When she was out of earshot the kids told me all the mean things she had said to them.

The stark difference was there: a teacher who should have been a life giver had instead decide to belittle her students who now claimed to hate her and three cooks who spent not even a minute a day with the kids were their heroes.

Monday

2009-02-02T20:34:00.000-08:00

Words caught in rose light
In this moment every dream seems a future truth
The wind brings the sound of a symphony
Light wraps around me like a memory, unfamiliar yet not unwished for
Struggles in the past are hard to recall and certain to never rise again

Sun and clouds singing gently to the frozen earth (for a moment seems alive) unsure if I should see this act of gentleness

Manna

2009-01-30T09:49:00.000-08:00

Zucchini bread, corn muffins, and now fruit cake. What do they have in common? They are bread that God has given. Over and over God has blessed me with food given randomly.
"He asked this only to test them, for he already had in mind what he was going to do." John 6:6 It has been an interesting game. I keep feeling like he is smiling and waiting for me to ask then he pulls something from behind his back. May I remember all things come from you.

P.S. Did I mention they all taste delightful?

Thursday-Get On Your Boots

2009-01-23T15:05:00.001-08:00

I bought the new U2 single.

take a trip inside your head, spend the day there...

2009-01-21T21:40:00.000-08:00

Life right now consists of me thinking about the following things

Pray- what does it mean to pray, when am I praying?...

Throwing up, and how cool it is that the body can get it up (think about it) and out

Teaching, how can I say it in a way that the kids will understand better????

Bambi's family came back without him

When do I get to do laundry next????

What will we do for VBS this summer?

I tried to think of some sort of a post that I could interweave all these thoughts but that didn't happen.

pray...a fire shut upin my bones... this is for you, Abigail!

2009-01-18T18:08:00.000-08:00

I know lots of things are wrong with her, but I'm excited about who she will become and the story she is a part of.

Psalm 143

2009-01-14T08:39:00.000-08:00

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul.
Rescue me from my enemies,
O Lord,
for I hide myself in you.
Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God;
may your good Spirit lead me on level ground.

Sad year

2009-01-13T21:20:00.000-08:00

A chapter of our childhoods is closed. They have closed their doors for forever, no more pink elephants,

Random thoughts waiting to be put together

2009-01-12T19:04:00.000-08:00

Still
Wide skies
Sun slipping behind the mountains
Silent brook reflecting golden and blue hues
Train thunders by
The brook barely replies stillness reigns again

Reflections
Blue sky with rose clouds
Brown mountains powdered with snow
Golden fields standing still
Puddles in the creek
With blue and rose sky

Thursday Dad's Birthday

2009-01-08T15:26:00.000-08:00

maybe

2008-12-30T15:42:00.000-08:00

Do you ever wonder if you just gave your computer one too many tasks to preform, maybe this time it will blow up, or that maybe while you walk up the hundreds of years old stairs today they will collapse, that maybe the rainbow is waiting for someone to look for the end of it again, maybe that bird is the little birdie who knows so much? Perhaps you can run on the tops of trees, and get lost in a fairy tale.

On a dark Winter night many Christmases ago

2008-12-23T14:45:00.000-08:00

Thursday the 17th

2008-12-17T20:20:00.000-08:00

Thursday the 11th

2008-12-11T14:05:00.000-08:00

Monday, on an airplane

2008-12-04T13:53:00.000-08:00

Sometimes we long for nothing more then to runaway, into ourselves and close the door to the world. Wanting to (or fearing to) see the world a certain way. But when we are forced to be with each other we view life in a broader way. Sitting here I see a wide variety, a girl who cuts (her bracelets don't cover the scars) young parents, businessmen who never look comfortable outside an office building, a single dad taking his girls to Disneyland, for them everything is new; the smells the aches in the ears the feeling when the plane tilts. The baby is playing with the pop-can (clush, tush) then giggles. Here we are on common ground of sorts, for a little while at least are fates are tied-up together like a bundle of balloons floating through the sky. Maybe here in this cabin I can plea for humanity, for peace. What would happen if I stood and begin to speak? Would they listen? What is going through their heads? Does anybody care? Can the baby feel the broken lives? Is that why she is crying? Why aren't I crying? From the window I can see city lights flickering through the clouds. The crying has stopped. I wish it was that easy.

Art!!!

2008-12-03T20:33:00.001-08:00

My mind is exploding about art! Someone help me put the pieces together please. God, what are you doing and what are you wanting me to do?

Waiting...yeah!!!

2008-11-25T12:31:00.000-08:00

Gloria in Excelsis

2008-11-24T11:44:00.001-08:00

Reverberating
bouncing from one wall to another

Yesterday it was full
hot, sweaty
basketballs going up and down
caught up in life
in moments

But not so now

Today in the stillness
the words grow as they leave my lips
soaring to the ceiling
multiplying until they fill the room
no longer sounding like mine
no longer sounding like I'm alone

A moment more
then silence

the 27th

2008-11-24T11:42:00.000-08:00

Excitedly waiting,
counting down the days.
Already a favorite day,
now all the more special.

Part of me cautioning,
not wanting disappointment,
but what do I wish for?

home,
those who know me,
to be touched,
people I love,
for a calming hand on my head,
to be able to show I care,
for the smile to be seen.

Thursday...stars

2008-11-21T10:01:00.000-08:00

The Red Bucket Part 3

2008-11-17T13:16:00.000-08:00

It was Cordelia standing with a birthday candle on top of her head. Peter ran into the crowd towards the stage. The sight of this thing of fluff was so odd all the Blue Trolls simply stared at him. Not until he reached the confused Cordelia and place the red bucket on her head did they make a move to stop him. Peter grabbed Cordelia's hand and ran while flinging cats on his attackers. Out of the Green they were followed, through the streets of mud and into the woods. The Blue Trolls were closes upon their heels, but further back then they might have been (probably they had stopped to pick up a club or something of that sort), Peter knew that the Blue Trolls would undoubtably overtake them if they continued running through the woods, so he did the only logical thing. Helping Cordelia they climbed to the tops of the trees and continued racing as fast as their feet could take them. Underneath the canopy they could hear the grunts and snarls of the Blue Trolls. As Peter and Cordelia neared the end of the tree tops they saw rushing towards the woods a shinny sea of color! It was in fact an army of bucket men. There was just time enough to place Cordelia under the protection of a few Bucket Soldiers, then turn and face the woods as the Blue Trolls pored out.

What fallowed was such a great victory for the Bucket Soldiers that for hundreds of years the Blue Trolls didn't dare cross over from their own side of the mountain.
Peter saw to it that Cordelia reached her cottage in safety, and that any damage caused by the Blue Trolls be repaired. Cordelia learned from the Bucket Soldiers that Peter was one of the princes of the kingdom ( I say "one of" to point out he was not in line for the throne) that he had chosen to join the Bucket Soldiers instead of living in the capital discussing politics.

Time continued in her dance through the seasons unfolding each one as a much awaited gift. As he traveled Peter would stop by to see Cordelia . Eventually and undoubtably they fell into love, as quietly as a descending Autumn leaf and as beautifully as a Spring sunrise.

Thursday ...yum!

2008-11-13T10:41:00.000-08:00

-I look like Christopher-

The Red Bucket. There's more!!! For the writer guild

2008-11-03T22:52:00.001-08:00

Once upon a time there was a red bucket, this bucket belonged to a young woman who lived in a simple cottage between the village and the mountains. The village is of no great importance except it was the last one before you reached the mountains, the road however that went past the young woman's house would normally be considered of great importance because it went from one end of the country to the other, but this fact is of little us to us for as I have said our story is about a red bucket. Our story begins on an Autumn day when the hillsides were painted in brilliant colors. It had been raining and the roof of the cottage had a leak, so the young woman setup the red bucket to catch the leak. At the first peering of the sun up to the roof she went to see if she could fix it. The clouds created drama in the vast sky, and the rain made the world seem polished as if for a special occasion. The young woman took in the whole scene with a satisfied grin. There were few things she enjoyed more then standing on her thatched roof looking at (what seemed) the whole world. Only one thing marred the beauty and that was the blue smoke rising from the woods. A noise from below woke her from her thoughts.
"Hello Madam" You might have been surprised, dear reader, by what this unknown man looked like, for from head to toe with only his face showing he was wearing buckets of all different size and color, he wore it like some men wear armer, outside their clothes yet so bulky you can't really tell anything about the man inside except his hight. Cordelia (for that was the young woman's name) wasn't startled about his appearance only at him appearing.
"I was walking by and couldn't help but wonder if you need assistance down from your roof." Cordelia explained she was perfectly fine, merely fixing a leak ing her roof. Personally I haven't the lest idea how one would fix a leak in a thatch roof, and I don't know if Cordelia really knew what she was doing, and won't know because the bucket man insisted on doing it himself. Up he climbed (it was quite the clamor) to see what could be done. During the course of conversation he introduced himself, his name was Peter and he was a guard against the Blue Trolls. As anyone from that country wold be able to tell because of the buckets. Peter said he was sent out because some trolls had been seen at neighboring villages. Then Cordelia pointed out the blue smoke she had seen rising from the woods. After an appropriate amount of time he declared the roof fixed. Climbed down and headed on his way. Before he left he told Cordelia to be extra carful.

Now is a good time to clear up confusion about Blue Trolls. Blue Trolls are not blue. Their favorite color is blue so they always wear it. Their fire has blue smoke, and in the mud they leave blue footprints. Those are the main reasons why they are called Blue Trolls.

A week later the bucket man returned to the area of Cordelia's cottage and thought he would stop in to see if everything was fine. As he neared the cottage his face fell. It had rained the night before and in the mud were blue footprints. With each step towards the house it seemed another set joined them. When he reached the cottage itself it was completely surrounded by blue mud there where so many footprints. He ran inside and of course she wasn't there, franticly he looked around, his eyes landed on the red bucket, he grabbed it (though he was in a hurry he did notice the bucket was placed under the leak and that it was empty) and ran.

Following Blue Trolls after it rains is rather easy, but always dangerous. Into the woods the blue prints lead him. He ran deeper and deeper into the woods, they became so think he had to take off the buckets just so he could fit between the trees, he kept only the red bucket and the one on his own head. Then he was there, at their village (if such structures could be called buildings). There wasn't a troll in sight, but oddly all the footprints lead in the same direction, to the center of town. You might (just might) remember from the stories you heard when you were little that Blue Trolls enjoy having cats as pets (which explains all the cats that go missing by the mountains) Peter started coving himself with cats, so many cats that he looked like a ball of fluff. They clung on with their sharp claws, yowling and hissing. In such a state Peter entered the Green.

It was full of Blue Trolls, young and old all gathered to celebrate Great Great Great Grandma Blue Troll's birthday. In the center of the stage he saw what he had know and feared he would see, yet now that it was there before him he felt sick and weak and outraged.

Thursday, reading

2008-10-30T20:30:00.000-07:00

Never name wild creatures, especially bucks during hunting season

2008-10-25T20:05:00.000-07:00

Well he has been gone for over two weeks. He used to sit by one of the buildings, out of the wind and sun, but seeing how it's hunting season and that the butcher next door is staying in business, I fear my furry friend has met a bloody end.

2008-10-20T20:40:00.000-07:00

Over the mountains she rolls.
Weaving through the trees,
whispering something to them.
A murmur of russell,
you hear in reply

Down among the grass
she tells her tale.
Then upwards flying,
towards the heavens,
to glide among the clouds

What she tells them
I'm not sure,
but the effect
is plain to see

Thursday, at the ranch

2008-10-16T22:31:00.000-07:00

Monday - A Short Story-

2008-10-13T18:14:00.000-07:00

I don't remember all the rules, but I thought I would give it a try:

Sealed letters, deceived maiden, dejected lover.

Thursday, full of kids

2008-10-09T22:01:00.001-07:00

nothing to offer

2008-10-09T08:24:00.000-07:00

It's so odd, being so far, normally I can be there, watch the kids, stay up late, clean the house, but now I'm so far away, I can't hold the crying baby, or scrub a dirty floor, I can't show them I love them by being there for them. Instead I'm hours away having to be grateful for others who are there, and hope that somehow my prayers will make a difference.

Up in the Apple Tree

2008-10-06T19:04:00.001-07:00

(must be read out loud with a british accent)

This tree has become
my friend of late.
Only fitting
a poem has been wrote
Quiet and gentle,
bracing this spinning world.
A perfect perch
are it's branches
Oval leaves
fill the tree.
And sweet rotten apples
scent the air.

October-3rd-2008

LOST!

2008-10-05T21:39:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time there were pictures of a girl and some of her friends, in the pictures they were sitting on a bluff, the season was Autumn. The girl one day was looking through a book full of faces of her friends trying to find said pictures because she was sure she put them there, but she couldn't find them, so then she looked through her blog. But couldn't find them there either. If anyone (maybe Matthew) knows where they are please let me know thanks.

above photo thoughtfully borrowed from BDT