Have you ever hidden candy in your light up princess boots?

Dad recently restocked the candy jar on my desk....

(thank you Dad) I always wonder who eats the candy, during the week kids don't really come into the office and they defiantly don't come in on Sundays, yet without fail the candy jar runs out of candy.

..... tonight I made a new friend Mia, her older sister was setled into a small group with other kids her own age but Mia was 5 1/2, too young for any of the groups which means she was in my group. A group of 2. As we wandered the halls hand in hand checking on kids and pretending we were invisible we became friends. As we passed the office I remembered there was candy in the candy jar.... we snuck in and out of the office I was so very thankful for my dad and his foresight. Downstairs we found Anthony, another 5 year-old. He is a rather shy little man but his smile is one of the best, so no matter how shy he's being you have to try to trick a smile out of him. We did what all 5 year-olds love to do, we ran. Back and forth on one leg then another, this time skipping this time with our eyes closed, just running, just being 5, just enjoying the thrill of being fast. Afterwards we manged to get Anthony some candy.

There is no great ending to this story. it was just about candy and being with kids and the joys of candy, and really about joy that taste like candy.

2nd Friday of October

Here is the tone of life:
spent time getting lost in Pickwick Papers.
Laughed with the kids as we pretended to be animals.
Went on a walk with a good friend while talking about soul stuff.
Got to teach in the elementary age Sunday morning.
Had coffee with a dear friend, heard what God is doing in & with his life.
Had yummy soup!
Friend & I pretended we were in a mountain house, staring at the beautiful trees.
Listening to Dr. Peter Kreeft lecture on the "Language of Beauty".
Reminded of the sweetness of going to God with everything.
Contemplating the new song He is putting in my mouth.
Learning to let go...

What then?

Recently I went to God with a tough subject, we talked about factors that went into it and possible outcomes. The underlining theme of where we ended up is that He is going to take care of me, I don't need to fear or fret or wonder, God who made me and cares for me, will be with me no matter the outcome.

And now, after times of forgetting it, I'm trying to cling to it. Cling to the promise that God will take care of me, that he is holding my heart. I'm trying to cling to Him. He says He wont every let go, but I don't want to forget and let Him go.

October, 1st Friday

(p.s)The month of October is a month or remembering, not remembering what has been (though that is good in it's place) instead a month of remembering who I am at the core, and what I'm about.

Off the top of my head I can tell you I'm a daughter of God, living to give him glory, and the special job he's given me is to tell his story to children. So why spend a month on this? Because thou I know this it's time to rediscover it. To let it sink in again and deeper. It's been a long year and lots of hard and or good things have filled my life, this month is a time to see past all that and refocus on the core.

Not sure yet how much will be shared here... I'm gona pretend it doesn't matter.....

• Child of God..... That's what I am, alllllll the other things are add ons that will be forgotten about or change... but God doesn't change. He didn't need to but he took me (plain me) into his healthy happy family, he wanted me to be at the dinner table so very much that he arranged that I'd always be able to be there. Didn't have to, but chose to. he's got my back.
  

• Liven' to give glory.... was wondering how much of myself (personality, heart...) I should let the world get to know, because I've noticed a pattern (get to know someone, become friends, goodbye comes, heart bleeds, wondering how many pieces of my heart have fallen off and how many do I have left.... ).... So I asked God about it and he very clearly said "You were made for my glory, thus you should be fully you to bring me my full glory." I argued that that I could spend some very sad days in the future there could be unhappiness that follows. In short if I live fully I will hurt fully. To which he answered he could handle anything that comes my way.

• Telling his' story....... it's not about me it's about him he is about redemption and love and I can choose to let him take me there so I can explain it better, but I'll never understand if i think it's about me.
  

Going on a Gypsy trip to the mountain...

Headed off to sleep, rediscover the love of reading, have my eyes reopened to the beauty around me (and capturing it on paper) and spend some much needed time with my family.


bye for now....

May you all be filled with the peace of God.




(one suitcase for books and art supplies and one suitcase for all my favorite cloths :)

a letter....

(prescript: Dear Reader, thought this letter would give you a little insight to my summer, enjoy...)

Dear Elders,
This is a follow up note of when we last officially spoke in the Spring.
Randy and I talked with you about testing and changing curriculum for Sunday mornings and the challenges we foresaw.

Well for starters most of the teachers really did like the new curriculum(Tru) even the few that had objections their objections pointed out the good traits of Tru (they felt it was too evangelism centered). We tried Tru for the month of May (and have continued through the Summer), the teachers liked it, but it was clear training would have to happen to be able to use the teacher's and the curriculum's full potential. This Fall is going to be time of a lot of training and empowering teachers.

As for the families, the only feedback I've heard is positive. Kids understanding the stories and being challenged about a day to day relationship with God. Two words I hear a lot from teachers and parents are "Grasp" and "Understand".
One mom talked about how for her daughter her relationship with God was no longer abstract but rather he is a apart of this world she lives in and will she join in on His adventure and take Him at His word. Bobbie Jo told me Macie has a sudden fascination with reading her Bible. Macie sat down to read, starting in Genesis, because she wants to know what God's story is. Shannan shared with me that now when she asks what they talked about at church both kids can tell her the stories and their meanings. Shannan says they are understanding it in such a way now that it is nourishing to their spiritual souls. Shannan was also quick to point out that the "hand outs" that are emailed to the parents are also nourishing, and full of ideas that slip into a families day to day life.

Something that deserves a whole paragraph of it's own is: Blessings. It's how we end class each Sunday. Blessings in general is something that has been slowing taking over all of Montavilla in a beautiful way, and now it's picking up speed with the kids. When the class draws to an end the kids gather around one parent who speaks words of blessing over them. Blessings are making their way into the homes also. Tim Swindler is currently in Scotland, and Tuesday was his daughter Darby's first day of school. Tim and Shannan had already prepared a blessing Tim was going to speak over her on the phone before she left, but before he mentioned it Darby asked Tim to bless her, because she knew her heart needed those words of encouragement and protection as she headed out on the adventure of school.

Attached are two letters that parents sent during the summer that I thought you might enjoy.

Thanks again for your support. The Spring was harder then Randy and I had reckoned for. But without fail each Sunday that I was full of doubt and discouragement, you fine men (or a wife of yours:) gave me a hug and reassured me of your love, your support and of God's calling in my life and God's love for His bride. Thank you.

Thursday evening....

Today is one of those sing song days...

Everything has managed to be pleasant all day. A day with family, work and friends. A day with a summer breeze and the rustle of leaves.

Something neat I've discovered is Pinterest, which inspired me to patch my jeans.... and then I'll add a bird and elephant (I imagine I'll add pictures later) Also inspired me to die my hair many colors... we"ll see.

Fun fact: Saturday is cooking day. First brunch then dinner for Sycamore (or here) .... it's been a while since I've cooked so it'll be a fun adventure ;) At the moment I feel very womanly (we'll see how long that last :)

But right now my fort is calling my name asking me to bring our friend Mr. Book.

Dear God,

Thank you for the many different ways you have shown me you are caring for me. Thank you that this last year has been a year of blessing I wouldn't have thought of from friends I'm grateful for.

The Generosity of a father of many...

The Necklace from a a women who has nothing to give...

Wine from a friend who wishes to refresh your servants...

Beautiful Sandals from a friend who wants to spread your gospel...

Kisses from children you have called for me to love....

A Place of Peace from fellow soldiers in this battle....

Story books from a brother that wishes to tell your story....

May my eyes and heart to be open to see you all around me...

One evening there was a girl...

She holds her mama's hand as mama wanders through the lines of insecurity.
She whispers sweet nothings into the cats ears,
While making dinner she explained her plan of giving away her toys to the children who didn't have any.... even though she hasn't been able to play with her's for months.
She sang a song about love in a way that is fitting for her view of it,
She gave me Mr Monkey Martin to hold while she ate dinner....

She brightens the day, so glad she's apart of mine :)

Wake up!! It's time to be alive!

Dear Soul,
Good morning, It's time to wake up and smell the earth and feel the sun soak through the cold disappointment of the winter. Spring has sung the flowers out of their hiding places. It's time, dear little heart, to stop hiding, time to dwell with the sweet breeze, time to name every soft head around you. To lead them to laughter and beauty, to wonder. Time to discover the words strong, courageous, victory and freedom. Come Soul, bathe in peace and grace. Delight in the gifts around you given by the Father above.

sincerely,

yours

"...And the voice I hear falling on my ear....."

God has a really big heart. If I were to sum up what God has shown me in the last 6 months it would be: He has a big heart and He has cool plans.

He cares about everyone. He knows each person there pain and joy and hope. Every moment of the day he feels it with you. He can handle anything we bring his way, not as a callus judge, but as a friend who knows you so well he knows whats going on in your head and heart.

Today I was sitting next to a great friend, for a moment I thought about the corners of his heart he's let me see, then it struck me that God has been sitting next to my friend every day... waiting... waiting to be let into the conversation.

This Fall it was cool seeing how God arranged everything to be in place for when my friend was lost and looking for a way out, he had already set up a safety net so when she fell it would be only so far and no further.

Is every story a happy ending? Nope, not at all. Do I or anyone understand pain? No. Does God care for each of us? Yes. Is God brave enough for all of us to lean on Him, to fight our battles with us? Yep you bet :)

just some thoughts :)

:)

just experienced a turn around emotion :) :) oh happy day!

meaning: for a long time I felt one way about something,

then knew I should feel differently,

different just happened.... for a moment.... it was there :)

goldfish....

God has shown me insight to how big He is by showing me how small my goldfish are.

Dear God,

There are still things on earth that I want to do but, I'd rather you just came so hurt would be over. I love these people, and I don't want to see them in any more pain.

Love,
Anna

....They don't make love like that anymore
is that too much to be asking for?
I wanta love like Johnny and June....

Halloween wish

To sit with some good friends and wait for the Great Pumpkin!

The girl at the bar....

It's Monday afternoon, I tie my hair up in a bun, slip on a brown apron and begin to pull shots. The air is full of the smell of coffee and fresh pastries. Some people order coffee that taste like coffee, and some order coffee that has no coffee taste left under the piles of flavor. We talk small talk, talk about the weekend, the weather, travel plans, sometimes we share our life journey. Trying to make them feel at home in the midst of a full day. People tend to like to talk. Except the girl.

She is a 6th grade ish (who knows) I've never gotten a full sentence from her that wasn't a question. She comes in with her dad (I think) and just stands at the bar watching me, and the coffee, and the coffee drinkers, until her dad is done with his coffee meeting and they leave.

One can't help but wonder about her. She is so quiet, but I believe she trully enjoys being around people, she could have just read a book, but instead stands watching for sometimes up to a hour. Today I explained to her why we time shots; I also found out she hasn't seen Toy Story 2 yet, but would like to. It came out that she hasn't seen any of the Toy Story movies..... really PIXAR? Is her father trying to save her from the evils of PIXAR??? I was scared to ask her if she had ever seen a movie. She is a girl full of secrets and will never tell one of them. I wonder if her life is always quiet and she doesn't know what to do with words or if life is a shouting match and she doesn't want to add to the noise.

So the two of us stand at the bar smiling trying to understand the other's life.

thoughts....

• fall, not spring, is the beginning of my year
• seeds, bulbs... growing
  
• taking another step towards being whom I am meant to be... think: walking deeper into light
• moves, change, choice
• hurt, pain, suffering, hiding- giving up vs. fighting to the death
• this world is WAY bigger then me
• love, romance, adventure, trust
• understanding not just hearing, and learning to listen for whats not said
• friends, dear friends, best friends, being a friend
• acting in love through fear not because of fear

Happy Wedding !!!!!!

odd...

Things you do to prepare for a wedding :)