It rained sunshine today

At dinner I got use chopsticks

Daniell mad egg rolls

I danced with Tim on the sidewalk in the rain, he did the box step.

I got my homework done for the day

Next I am going to read some P&P

Katie is coming over tonight, we are going to watch a movie.

sigh~ the sunset was gorgeous

Unreal

The other day the sky laid close to the earth in a gray sheet. I was on my way to school when I saw something that made me wonder; A middle age, respectable looking women was sitting at a bus stop, she had her bag sitting next to her with what seemed to be a pile of rages on top. (part of this that made it so unreal feeling was I was inside a bus across the street, so I couldn't here her) She was very agitated about something, she was talking and crying (the way people sometimes do when they are sad but also mad so they let you know why they are upset), also she was smoking a lot. I was trying to figure out who she was talking to because there was nobody beside her, she kept touching the rages, she picked them up and held them to her chest, kissed them, set them back down. About this time she picked them up again and I realized part of the mystery: The rags were in fact a rag doll, like ones that I have, and it was the doll she was talking too. The answers to those questions presents a bigger question: Why would a grown respectable women be pouring her heart out to a rag doll while she is smoking waiting for a bus? Was the doll hers from childhood? Is the women crazy? Did it belong to someone that she loved who is now dead? Has she always ridden the bus or did that start lately, same with the cigarettes did she just start, is she smoking more now? Why is it she only has the doll to talk to? Oh yeah remember this is just a glimpse of someones real life tonight she is somewhere out there in this big dark world.

Psalms 77

This last summer God was teaching me some things. One of them being; rejoicing in him purely because he is God, not because of the peace he can give me, or joy, or any other reason except that he is God. A few days ago while I was reading I came across this passage this writer had reached all the way to the depths of despair (far further then my discouragement) when he resolves to remember God and praise him because of who he is, it struck a familiar cord.


I cried out to God for help;
I cried out to God to hear me.
When I was in distress, I sought the Lord;
at night I stretched out untiring hands
and my soul refused to be comforted

I remembered you, O my God, and I groaned;
I mused, and my spirit came faint. Selah
You kept my eyes from closing;
I was to troubled to speak.
I thought about the former days,
the years of long ago;
I remembered my songs in the night.
My heart mused and my spirit inquired:

Will the Lord reject forever?
Will he never show his favor again?
Has his unfailing love vanished forever?
Has his promise failed for all time?
Has God forgotten to be merciful?
Has his anger withheld his compassion?

Selah

Then I thought; "To this I will appeal:
the years of the right hand of the Most High"
I will remember the deeds of the Lord;
yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.
I will meditate on all your works
and consider all your mighty deeds.

Your ways, O God, are holy.
What God is so great as are God?
You are the God who performs miracles;
you display your power among the peoples.
With your mighty arm you redeem your people,
the descendants of Jacob and Joseph

The waters saw you, O God,
the waters saw you and withered;
the very depths were convulsed.
The clouds poured down water,
the skies resounded with thunder;
your arrows flashed back and forth.
Your thunder was heard in the whirlwind,
your lightning lit up the world;
the earth trembled and quaked.
Your path led through the sea,
your way thought the mighty waters,
though your footprints were not seen.

You led your people like a flock
by the hand of Moses and Aaron.

Thoughts about an (almost) Autumn day

Yesterday I awoke to a cloud full sky. In the afternoon I strolled through the park with some friends. We talked about how both work and pain came before the fall of man. We talked about conveniences and how they have helped us to an unhealthy state.

One of my favorite things about autumn is the air, when you walk along under changing trees it is as if your lungs fill up with the richest air, it seems to me that I could eat it.

In the evening we stepped outside, the rain was just ending. We walked about the neighborhood. Along the way we came to three majestic oak trees. Someone bent down, scooped up a handful of acorns and battle begun, every man, and woman for themself.

On we walked night came down to replace the silence of dusk, with contemplative music of darkness.

Friday

Today I pretended I was a wood nymph, then I had a tea party.

Symphony on the Waterfront

An evening of fine food and amazing friends sitting on the waterfront listening to the grand music of the symphony. As the evening progressed the hot summer sun set behind the city. The last piece played was the '1812 Overture' with each passing moment the excitement grew, at last they reached the end and the cannons went off! The conductor turned and bowed; everyone applauded, but yet the show was not over, from the river came a stream of fireworks into the sky loud and brilliant. But then a friend leaned over and said "Look it is the moon." For sure a pale streak of cloud that had caught our attention earlier was now the horizon the moon was rising from. Big and bold, yet peaceful and gentle she rose above the river, city and sky. As the fireworks were yelling to be noticed, quietly she shone in a brilliant garb not one thread of which was made by man. They applauded at the 'grand finale' yet there is something already grand simply hanging in the sky,

SIX DAYS!!!

But who's counting?

All Things Must Come To An End

Soon Evan set out on his boat to the village he had been sure he would never return. While out on the sea there is not much one can do except think. Evan would look up at the sun and think of the lass' blond hair. At night he again would look up and the darkness would remind him of Ella's long black hair. On a clear day he thought the blue above was like the blue of his lass' eyes. His gaze would wander down to the gray, blue and green of the sea and would get lost in it, which would remind him of Ella's. During the days he found himself over and over again comparing the blond-haired blue-eyed lass with Ella. Not just how they looked but also everything they did. How they acted, what they said, how they laughed. Evan thought over it all again and again.

A few days Evan arrived at the small fishing village on the very day the ring was supposed to give him the one his heart truly desired. Evan walked around the better part of that day still thinking over something. He saw the blond-haired, blue-eyed lass walking with a friend to the well. Evan watched her as she drew her water then turned and walked away, toward her home. It was then as the blond-haired blue-eyed lass was walking down the dirt road Evan knew what he was going to do. He ran back to his boat, sailed up the cost, then headed inland.

Finally after what seemed many days traveling (but in fact was only five days) Evan was facing a red door to a very well kept house on the edged of a village. He stood there standing on the stone step just staring at the door. If he knocked at the door his dreams may never come true, yet if he never knocked dreams would be all he would have. So he knocked. A young lady opened the door. But it was not Ella. Evan was confused, he thought he had gone to the wrong house. Then he remembered that Ella had a young stepmother. "Is Ella in the house?" he wasn't sure if he had said it in a shout or a whisper, but how ever he said it the young lady heard. Suspiciously she asked "Who are you?" My name is Evan he replied "Oh... your Evan!" she said with a kind smile "Yes, she is around back."

Following a worn path around the house Evan found what must be the back. Ella was there. She was tending some flowers. Evan stood and watched her. Then he steeped towards her, Ella turned around and saw him. "Evan" She exclaimed as her face light up, then he saw confusion come across her face. "Evan... Evan why aren't you with your bride?" "Ella the merking said if in one year and a day I give this ring to the one my heart truly desires she shall surely accept me. It has been one year and six days Ella will you marry me?" She looked straight in his face through to his very soul and said "Of course I will, of course I will."

So she wore his ring, they were married with her fathers blessing, and lived happily in their cottage by the sea for the rest of their days

The End

Splendid Day

Today was such a beautiful day.

My sweet friend gave me a ride to school, she also gave me Krispy Kream Doughnuts

I taught Kindergarten P.E. (a bunch of 5 year-olds doing P.E. is the funnest thing to watch)

I got to hang out with Batman (who's alter identity is a preschooler)

We blew grass trumpets during a sunny and warm recess duty.

I was given flowers, for teacher appreciation week!

When I came home there was a package in the mail, from my dear dear friend.

My super duper cool cousin called. We ended up taking for about hour.

All in all it was a splendid day. The sky is blue, and there is a fresh spring breeze blowing about the house.

Thank you God for a day that brightened up the world.

As We Draw Near the End

One summer afternoon Evan realized Ella was not her normal bright self, she seemed solemn. When he asked her what was wrong. she replied with the typical "Oh nothing." She stayed in this melancholy state for a week. So one evening during dinner he asked her again what was troubling her. Ella stared at the barely touched potato on her plate for a moment then answered "The other day, I looked at the calendar and saw that is is just over three weeks until the ring is suppose to work. So I have been thinking about what I should do." Evan was surprised that the day was so soon in coming, then he realized what Ella was saying, "What do you mean to do now, Ella?" Ella looked down at her potato again, poked it with her fork then said, like someone who has decided on doing what they know is the right thing. "I'm going to go back to my father's house. I was too quick to leave it. My stepmother was nervous and not sure of herself. I see now that I was wrong to leave as I did."

The following two weeks were a whirlwind of preparations getting the cottage ready for the bride and getting Ella ready to go back to her father's house. Early one morning Evan saw Ella off. She road on a coach which was headed towards her father's village.

flirt |flərt| verb 1 [ intrans. ] behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but for amusement rather than with serious intentions :

I have been thinking about this word a lot lately. Some questions have been wondering though my head. Such as;

#1 What is flirting?

#2 Is it ever acceptable or appropriate to flirt?

#3 Do I flirt?

To answer the first of these questions, I have asked a few different people, of a variety of ages and back rounds, what they perceive flirting to be, the common theme is; "trying to get attention from someone (or someone's) from the opposite gender".

The second question is the one that baffles me. I have always thought flirting was people being too immature to have a decent (as in quality) conversation together. But I have some dear friends who think it's okay to flirt.

Question three. In all honesty I would have to say I have flirted, but I am not proud of those points in my life. When I am with my friends having a good time, sometimes I get the idea; "Oh if I say this and that, he'll see me, and think I am so funny." Sometimes I do it sometimes I don't.


To sum up it all up. I would say flirting is when "just having fun", crosses over into "trying to get attention". I can say from personal experiences that flirting can end in a confused and hurt heart. So I would rather not repeat what I see as my mistakes of the past, for what I might see as harmless fun at the present.

Waiting

The days were now turning warm. Ella spent most of her time outside where she could feel the cool that came off the sea. Her flowers were so beautiful! I think why they were so pretty was she would sing to them, though she was not a great singer, but she enjoyed singing softly while tending to the cottage duties and the flower beds. She would also tell stories to her flowers. Draw your own conclusions but I think any living thing would grow better if it was feed music and stories.

One afternoon Evan finished early, as he walked up the stone steps he heard, through the open door, Ella singing. He stood in the doorway for a minute just to watch her. She did not know he was there for she was not facing him. Evan saw the spring days had added much color and life into her face. He saw she was dreaming of something, and admiring her own hand. Ella was looking at it like a girl will, first tilting it one way then the next. Evan then saw what it was. Upon her finger was the ring. Evan went in and grabbed her hand "How could you, Ella?" he asked as he took the ring off her hand. "What if you had lost it? What would happen then? How could you do such a thing?" Ella turned to face him seeing tears well up in her eyes and realizing how harsh his words had been, he apologized for loosing his temper, but would she promise not to wear the ring ever again? Ella forgave him and promised never to wear it again. When Even turned to put the ring back on the mantel, she added in a whisper "Not until you ask me to."

Sometimes I want to give up and take the "easy" road. Randomly pick a school or a job to do, then some time go out meet a boy get married and have a "pulled together life". But that my friend would only be a life partly lived. Sometimes I forget I haven't given up, I forget there is a battle going on for my life, and for the world. I'm just passive not caring my weight, doing what I could, going out and fighting for the one who loves, and saved me. I'm not even practising. Both are lives only partly lived.

Today was Good Friday. We talked about how Christ actively gave himself to save what he created, what he loved. And then I look at what little I'm willing to do for him, sacrifice for him, let him handle, trust him. Over and over I am telling him he is not good enough to run my life (much less save it) he doesn't realize what I have to do in this day and age to have respect from people, what is demanded of me.

Christ,
You are the only one who can save me, no one else can do it. I want to live a full life for you, doing what you dreamt of me doing, I want to live a life that reflects your glory back to you. I know I often want the spotlight, I'm sorry for taking your praise. Like the Triumphal Entry I am just the donkey you are riding, it would be foolish to think they were saying "Hosanna!" to me without you I am simply a donkey, who doesn't know what to do.
Take my life and do with me what you will, I pray you will give me courage and faith.

At Last! (April Fools)

I didn't want to tell everyone because I've been waiting to see if it would really happen.
So here is whats going on; as many of you know I have loved Ireland since visiting it 7 years ago. Well this fall I get to move there and live with this family I know until the spring! To say I am excited would be a gross understatement. I'll be leaving the end of August! Sadly that means I'll miss the camp retreat at the beach. But on the sunny side I'll hear more tales to tell you all when I return. The family I'll be staying with pastor a small church, and has four kids, so I'll be helping around the house and involved in their local ministry.

Ella At the Cottage

The next morning Evan left to sea before Ella was up. But when he was coming back from the village he could smell stew. He and Ella sat down to very tasty dinner together. The next morning Ella was up and about when Evan left. That day when Evan came back the cottage was spotlessly clean. After dinner Evan asked Ella if she would stay and keep house for her in exchange for room and board. Ella said she would and they shook hands on the agreement.

As the days got shorter Evan spent more of his time at the cottage. Evan realized that the out building must be getting cold as the winter was soon to start. He decided he would build Ella a room. It was fairly simple to do. He just took some stones from the cottage, and the ground (for Ireland has many stones) and used them to make new walls. The first day Ella kept her questions to herself, but the next day she came outside, wiped the flower off her hands (she was making biscuits) and asked Evan what he was doing. He said winter was coming and she would need a real room to stay in. And that he thought the cottage could use another bedroom. Well presently Evan finished the room.It was on the small side, it could only really fit a bed and the small bookcase Evan had made for Ella. She said it was fine seeing how she would not be spending a lot of time in the room.

That winter Ella made some of her own improvements in the cottage. She got candle sticks for the table, and yes the windows did need curtains. Evan admitted the walls did look better white washed. Evan helped Ella make a flower bed across the front of the cottage. Ella put all types of bulbs in it. During the long winter they spent the evenings in front of the fire talking of every thing from potatoes to castles and kings. One evening Ella asked what was in the shell case on the fire places mantel. Evan took it down and showed her the ring. As Ella looked at it, while he precede to tell her of his love; the blond hair blue eyed lass, and of the mermaid, and of what the merking had said. Ella believed what Even said about the mermaid (it would have been rude not to)then asked him what day it was exactly when he had spoken to the merking. Then she made a calendar of all the days left until he would gain what his heart truly desired.

The Storm

One day when it was changing from summer to fall. While Evan was at sea, out of nowhere came a violent storm. Big black clouds rolled over the horizon, and the sky turned an eerie yellow green. Evan saw the clouds and started to shore. But then the wind that was moving the clouds reached him, and started tossing the boat. The waves became choppy. On top of that the rain began to fall. Now it was a full fledged storm. The wind was thrashing, the waves were crashing, and the rain kept poring out of the sky. It was all Evan could do to keep himself from being forever lost out at sea. The boat almost flipped a number of times till at long last Evan managed to get it to shore. He glanced up at his cottage there was something dark at his door step, but he had no time to think of it. He grabbed his nets and carried them up to his out building. Those being put away Evan went on to his cottage. The wind was now blowing the rain side ways. Evan saw the dark mass was still on his door step, it looked like seaweed that had been blown up there by the wind. But as he got closer he realized what it was. Evan bent down, and touched it. With a start it scrambled onto its feet. It was in fact a ...girl!

She looked just a few years younger then Evan, and only stood to about five feet high. She was not small in her features. But her eyes, a book could be written about her eyes alone, they were green, gray and deep blue all at once, looking into them was like looking out at sea, always the same, yet always different, and always feeling something deeper then you could see. It was her hair that had covered her, it was dark brown almost black, and its length went all the way down to her knees. “Oh I am sorry," she exclaimed "I was lost and it started raining, I thought if I was by the house it would block some of the wind. But I will move on now if you wish." "No, no come in at least till the rain stops." So Evan started a fire in the hearth, and gave the girl some blankets to wrap herself in for she was drenched to her core. She attempted to say more but she was coughing so much Evan stopped her and said she was in no condition to say anything till she had something warm inside her. He gave her some hot broth then let her tell her tale this is what she said;

"Well my name is Ella. I am the daughter of a man who lives about three day’s trip inland. My mother died when I was just a wee lass. Two months ago my father married a lady just a few years older then myself. When they wedded I was excited, I thought everything would be splendid. But she has turned out to be extremely mean and selfish. At last I could not take it any longer, so I left my fathers house, determined never to return while his new wife lived. I had no real plan of what I was going to do, I just started walking. I have been wandering a few days now. When I saw your cottage I thought it might shelter me from the storm."

While Evan listened to the girl he saw she was in no condition to keep 'wondering the world'. She had been coughing and looked like she had not eaten for the past week. "That is a sad story indeed but what shall be done now?" he asked Ella. She looked out the window mournfully "Well I suppose I will be leaving now that the rain has stopped." Evan also looked out the window the wind was still thrashing the land, and clouds of charcoal tint were still overhead. "But only to soon start again, you are not well, stay here until you get better I have an out building that is dry and out of the wind there you will be warm" Ella agreed to it. It was a good little building no cracks in the wall, and a well thatched roof over head, and if you don't mind the smell of fish, it would be quiet ideal.

“Look to the heathen with out Christ, and you will find an alter... and may God help you to be a sacrifice.” -Biship Hill

The Land of the Merpeople

One summer day when the sea was as still as glass. Evan was pulling in his nets, when the scales of a fish caught his eye. It looked like it was made with emeralds with some rubies and sapphires. Then Evan realized it must be a mermaid. Sure enough it was. "Please," the young mermaid pleaded. "Please let me go, my father is the king of the merpeople. He can give you anything you desire from his treasure room full of hidden things of the sea. If you will just let me go free!" See in those days they would put merpeople in the circus if they happened into a fishermen's nets. "Of course I will let you go free. Though the treasure my heat desires your father could not have.” said Evan in such an empty hearted way it lead the mermaid to inquire what it was he longed for. Evan told her of the blond hair, blue-eyed lass, and how she laughed at the love he offered her. The mermaid wishing she could do something for Evan, told him her father might be able to help. So Evan swam with the mermaid down to the heart of the sea, to the land of the merking. What Evan saw was more then hard for him to believe. There were houses made of shells of every kind of shape. He saw merpeople of so many different ages, and they all had gems on them. Evan found himself wondering if the merpeople put the gems on them selves or if the gems came from he merpeople. Then when Evan thought he could not see anything more dazzling there it was, a palace made of pearls, pink pearls, black pearls, white pearls, to sum it up it was grand. They went though the gates and the large front door. The mermaid led Evan into a grand hall, at the end of the hall was a very stately and wise merman, and it was the king. When the king saw the mermaid he was overjoyed "Daughter of mine, I am so glad you are safe. What happened to you? I sent the guards out to search the whole sea and they could not find you." " I was foolish enough to get caught in a fishing net. But the man who caught me was kind enough to let me go. I have brought the man here, I thought you would want to meet him." Evan and the merking joined hands. The merking ask if he could give Evan something to show his thanks. The mermaid spoke up and said Evan had a problem she thought he could help Evan with. Evan told the king of the blond hair, blue-eyed lass he loved. The king thought for a moment then left, when he came back, in his hand he held a box made of shells. He handed it to Evan and told him to open it. Inside was a coral ring, and on the coral ring was set a pearl. Evan gasped, then asked what good a ring would do if he had no one to give it to? The king explained it was a magical ring. That in one-year and a day if he gave it to the one his heart truly desired she would surely accept him. Evan thanked the merking for his gift. The mermaid showed Evan the way back to his boat. When Evan got to shore, he pulled his nets in, and went up to the cottage. Evan reached into his pocket and pulled out the shell case, and inside, yes the ring was still there. Evan wondered how a ring could help him. He closed the case and put it on top of the fireplace mantel. Evan though he had a magical ring given to him by the merking, he still had to eat, so fish he kept catching, tending his nets, and so on like I have said before.

Blue Eyes

A long time ago in the land across the sea on the southern coast of Ireland was a fishing village. There lived a young man; he was of sturdy build with black hair and eyes. His name was Evan. In that village also lived a girl with blond hair and blue eyes. Evan for some time had fancied this blond hair blue eyed lass more then any other girl he knew. One day he got up the courage to tell her how he felt. When he did tell the blond hair blue eyed lass, she just laughed, called him a silly boy, turned and left. Evan could not bear being in the village any longer, so he put what few things he had to call his own in to his boat and sailed up the coast till he came to shores he did not know. There on the side of the hill close to the sea Evan got a cottage. He spent his days there quietly. Getting up. Having breakfast. Going out in his boat. Coming back to shore. Bring in the nets. Go to the nearest village to sell his fish. Come back. Tend the nets. Have dinner. Go to bed. Then do it all over again the next day…

Where is Midsummer?

I'm trying not to be seen, but can you see me?