Trying to think over some of what I've learned here, on this adventure.
When I wasn't with family I was with fellow students or coworkers. Equals. comrades. These last few months my eyes have been open to being alone. There are way more situations at church that are designed for a couple or family then I would have guessed. They are simply awkward alone. This might have been heightened by the fact there are only three (yes three) 'out of college non parents' attending this church.
The wish to be somewhere long term. It took seven months for me to slip into place, know the people and know how to get things done. I can't help but wonder what would happen if I stayed somewhere and got to be involved in children's lives not just for a week or a few months but years. Getting to be there when they are first hearing about God, and staying alongside as they grow and go deeper, challenging them, mentoring them, and seeing them head off to see how they can reclaim this world for God. This seems an absurd dream because my current average is 19 months.
That God provides for me. It looks silly written there, but it had to be learned. In the past it was "God provides for my family" Over and over again growing up we would see how God was taking care of us. However there were six of us, and we were missionaries of course God was going to take care of us, but now it was just little Anna, all by herself at the grocery store. John 6:5-6 (said with a smile)
Thoughts on leadership in the church have been rolling around in my mind for the past couple of years. The thoughts were intensified this last year. Because here I was teaching kids about God, which is a terrifying thought and even more scary if you're not sure if it's a Biblical thing to do. Should a women lead? Who can she lead? What about preaching? And many more questions all boiled down to one answer Dr. Mary gave me over a year ago:" Do what God asks you to do." Simple.
Last: a wish to be bold.
There is more I've learned but you'll have to ask me out to coffee to hear it :)
2 comments:
yeah for growing up and learning lessons. even though it's really hard. i'm proud of how i've seen you wrestle through some tough stuff. keep going!
here's to LOTS of coffee dates. =D and great conversations.
(and maybe some pixie dust so we don't grow up too fast...i'm still not that bold!)
I'm teary reading your post, really! I just love how much you've grown and your thoughts echo mine in so many ways. I have thought those thoughts and struggled with them myself. Dr. Mary is right and wise as always. That statement applies in all of those situations and areas where you were grown.
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