maybe

Do you ever wonder if you just gave your computer one too many tasks to preform, maybe this time it will blow up, or that maybe while you walk up the hundreds of years old stairs today they will collapse, that maybe the rainbow is waiting for someone to look for the end of it again, maybe that bird is the little birdie who knows so much? Perhaps you can run on the tops of trees, and get lost in a fairy tale.

On a dark Winter night many Christmases ago

Thursday the 17th

Thursday the 11th

Monday, on an airplane

Sometimes we long for nothing more then to runaway, into ourselves and close the door to the world. Wanting to (or fearing to) see the world a certain way. But when we are forced to be with each other we view life in a broader way. Sitting here I see a wide variety, a girl who cuts (her bracelets don't cover the scars) young parents, businessmen who never look comfortable outside an office building, a single dad taking his girls to Disneyland, for them everything is new; the smells the aches in the ears the feeling when the plane tilts. The baby is playing with the pop-can (clush, tush) then giggles. Here we are on common ground of sorts, for a little while at least are fates are tied-up together like a bundle of balloons floating through the sky. Maybe here in this cabin I can plea for humanity, for peace. What would happen if I stood and begin to speak? Would they listen? What is going through their heads? Does anybody care? Can the baby feel the broken lives? Is that why she is crying? Why aren't I crying? From the window I can see city lights flickering through the clouds. The crying has stopped. I wish it was that easy.

Art!!!

My mind is exploding about art! Someone help me put the pieces together please. God, what are you doing and what are you wanting me to do?

Waiting...yeah!!!

Gloria in Excelsis

Reverberating
bouncing from one wall to another

Yesterday it was full
hot, sweaty
basketballs going up and down
caught up in life
in moments


But not so now

Today in the stillness
the words grow as they leave my lips
soaring to the ceiling
multiplying until they fill the room
no longer sounding like mine
no longer sounding like I'm alone

A moment more
then silence

the 27th

Excitedly waiting,
counting down the days.
Already a favorite day,
now all the more special.

Part of me cautioning,
not wanting disappointment,
but what do I wish for?

home,
those who know me,
to be touched,
people I love,
for a calming hand on my head,
to be able to show I care,
for the smile to be seen.

Thursday...stars

The Red Bucket Part 3

It was Cordelia standing with a birthday candle on top of her head. Peter ran into the crowd towards the stage. The sight of this thing of fluff was so odd all the Blue Trolls simply stared at him. Not until he reached the confused Cordelia and place the red bucket on her head did they make a move to stop him. Peter grabbed Cordelia's hand and ran while flinging cats on his attackers. Out of the Green they were followed, through the streets of mud and into the woods. The Blue Trolls were closes upon their heels, but further back then they might have been (probably they had stopped to pick up a club or something of that sort), Peter knew that the Blue Trolls would undoubtably overtake them if they continued running through the woods, so he did the only logical thing. Helping Cordelia they climbed to the tops of the trees and continued racing as fast as their feet could take them. Underneath the canopy they could hear the grunts and snarls of the Blue Trolls. As Peter and Cordelia neared the end of the tree tops they saw rushing towards the woods a shinny sea of color! It was in fact an army of bucket men. There was just time enough to place Cordelia under the protection of a few Bucket Soldiers, then turn and face the woods as the Blue Trolls pored out.

What fallowed was such a great victory for the Bucket Soldiers that for hundreds of years the Blue Trolls didn't dare cross over from their own side of the mountain.
Peter saw to it that Cordelia reached her cottage in safety, and that any damage caused by the Blue Trolls be repaired. Cordelia learned from the Bucket Soldiers that Peter was one of the princes of the kingdom ( I say "one of" to point out he was not in line for the throne) that he had chosen to join the Bucket Soldiers instead of living in the capital discussing politics.

Time continued in her dance through the seasons unfolding each one as a much awaited gift. As he traveled Peter would stop by to see Cordelia . Eventually and undoubtably they fell into love, as quietly as a descending Autumn leaf and as beautifully as a Spring sunrise.

Thursday ...yum!

-I look like Christopher-

The Red Bucket. There's more!!! For the writer guild

Once upon a time there was a red bucket, this bucket belonged to a young woman who lived in a simple cottage between the village and the mountains. The village is of no great importance except it was the last one before you reached the mountains, the road however that went past the young woman's house would normally be considered of great importance because it went from one end of the country to the other, but this fact is of little us to us for as I have said our story is about a red bucket. Our story begins on an Autumn day when the hillsides were painted in brilliant colors. It had been raining and the roof of the cottage had a leak, so the young woman setup the red bucket to catch the leak. At the first peering of the sun up to the roof she went to see if she could fix it. The clouds created drama in the vast sky, and the rain made the world seem polished as if for a special occasion. The young woman took in the whole scene with a satisfied grin. There were few things she enjoyed more then standing on her thatched roof looking at (what seemed) the whole world. Only one thing marred the beauty and that was the blue smoke rising from the woods. A noise from below woke her from her thoughts.
"Hello Madam" You might have been surprised, dear reader, by what this unknown man looked like, for from head to toe with only his face showing he was wearing buckets of all different size and color, he wore it like some men wear armer, outside their clothes yet so bulky you can't really tell anything about the man inside except his hight. Cordelia (for that was the young woman's name) wasn't startled about his appearance only at him appearing.
"I was walking by and couldn't help but wonder if you need assistance down from your roof." Cordelia explained she was perfectly fine, merely fixing a leak ing her roof. Personally I haven't the lest idea how one would fix a leak in a thatch roof, and I don't know if Cordelia really knew what she was doing, and won't know because the bucket man insisted on doing it himself. Up he climbed (it was quite the clamor) to see what could be done. During the course of conversation he introduced himself, his name was Peter and he was a guard against the Blue Trolls. As anyone from that country wold be able to tell because of the buckets. Peter said he was sent out because some trolls had been seen at neighboring villages. Then Cordelia pointed out the blue smoke she had seen rising from the woods. After an appropriate amount of time he declared the roof fixed. Climbed down and headed on his way. Before he left he told Cordelia to be extra carful.

Now is a good time to clear up confusion about Blue Trolls. Blue Trolls are not blue. Their favorite color is blue so they always wear it. Their fire has blue smoke, and in the mud they leave blue footprints. Those are the main reasons why they are called Blue Trolls.

A week later the bucket man returned to the area of Cordelia's cottage and thought he would stop in to see if everything was fine. As he neared the cottage his face fell. It had rained the night before and in the mud were blue footprints. With each step towards the house it seemed another set joined them. When he reached the cottage itself it was completely surrounded by blue mud there where so many footprints. He ran inside and of course she wasn't there, franticly he looked around, his eyes landed on the red bucket, he grabbed it (though he was in a hurry he did notice the bucket was placed under the leak and that it was empty) and ran.

Following Blue Trolls after it rains is rather easy, but always dangerous. Into the woods the blue prints lead him. He ran deeper and deeper into the woods, they became so think he had to take off the buckets just so he could fit between the trees, he kept only the red bucket and the one on his own head. Then he was there, at their village (if such structures could be called buildings). There wasn't a troll in sight, but oddly all the footprints lead in the same direction, to the center of town. You might (just might) remember from the stories you heard when you were little that Blue Trolls enjoy having cats as pets (which explains all the cats that go missing by the mountains) Peter started coving himself with cats, so many cats that he looked like a ball of fluff. They clung on with their sharp claws, yowling and hissing. In such a state Peter entered the Green.

It was full of Blue Trolls, young and old all gathered to celebrate Great Great Great Grandma Blue Troll's birthday. In the center of the stage he saw what he had know and feared he would see, yet now that it was there before him he felt sick and weak and outraged.

Thursday, reading

Never name wild creatures, especially bucks during hunting season

Well he has been gone for over two weeks. He used to sit by one of the buildings, out of the wind and sun, but seeing how it's hunting season and that the butcher next door is staying in business, I fear my furry friend has met a bloody end.

Over the mountains she rolls.
Weaving through the trees,
whispering something to them.
A murmur of russell,
you hear in reply

Down among the grass
she tells her tale.
Then upwards flying,
towards the heavens,
to glide among the clouds

What she tells them
I'm not sure,
but the effect
is plain to see

Thursday, at the ranch

Monday - A Short Story-

I don't remember all the rules, but I thought I would give it a try:

Sealed letters, deceived maiden, dejected lover.

Thursday, full of kids

nothing to offer

It's so odd, being so far, normally I can be there, watch the kids, stay up late, clean the house, but now I'm so far away, I can't hold the crying baby, or scrub a dirty floor, I can't show them I love them by being there for them. Instead I'm hours away having to be grateful for others who are there, and hope that somehow my prayers will make a difference.

Up in the Apple Tree

(must be read out loud with a british accent)

This tree has become
my friend of late.
Only fitting
a poem has been wrote
Quiet and gentle,
bracing this spinning world.
A perfect perch
are it's branches
Oval leaves
fill the tree.
And sweet rotten apples
scent the air.


October-3rd-2008

LOST!

Once upon a time there were pictures of a girl and some of her friends, in the pictures they were sitting on a bluff, the season was Autumn. The girl one day was looking through a book full of faces of her friends trying to find said pictures because she was sure she put them there, but she couldn't find them, so then she looked through her blog. But couldn't find them there either. If anyone (maybe Matthew) knows where they are please let me know thanks.


above photo thoughtfully borrowed from BDT

Fact

When my neighbor is online my internet doesn't work. Same for him.

part of a dream

Today I helped babysit, and this is the picture I drew. I thought it would be fun to share.

Maybe...

Out downtown, looking in one of our favorite stores.
She was crying on the bench outside, she looked around my age.
She looked away as people passed by, so they wouldn't see the tears. What's going on?
What should I've done?
I wish I could go back and sit with her.

Thursday, a search for color

should have been up Monday

Here in the lounge I sit, during a hour free.
The fire sparks and dances,
the music of the rain outside falls onto the beautiful wet leaves.
With friends dear I dwell in peace.
Not that I don't care for matters of this world,
I know all is well, and will end well,
a taste of how it might be.


August-September

Thursday

Books

Some of you may know that in a few days I'll be moving to a land far far away. I have a feeling there will be lots of long winter evenings perfect for reading. So if you all could recommend a book for me to read I would be grateful. Also you get bonus points if you find a way of getting a copy of the book to me. Think it over, you have a week.

Gold painted on a soft blue sky. Kara and I went on a walk from house to favorite house, strolling arm in arm, (thank you sisters don't have to be born into the family) enjoying the autumn wind that was rushing about. A beautiful evening.

As we talked about how are days were. I mentioned I had spent the morning discovering who I am (you'd think after living with myself for a couple decades I'd have me figured out) it came down to enjoying out of doors (sky, trees, water, clouds, elephants...) people, and creating beauty with my hands. As I think about it there are people in my life who have encouraged me (seen the unspoken longing). If I hadn't been for them I wonder if I would be where I am today on my journey of discovering. They taught me to open my arms to the wind, look for the face a Creator in those he created.

Seeing that they've done such a great job now I'm going to watch a moving with people.

Latter

thoughts...

End of summer.
Change in the wind, can you hear it?
Music, beautiful music with beautiful people.
Cookies are out of the oven.
Going to a party, wearing pearls.
Robert played excellently last night,
I couldn't be prouder of the man he's growing to be.
Friends lives are changing also.
God feels deeply, I'm not alone.
Autumn will come with her splendour.

for Zeppo

Dum vivimus, vivamus. Let us live while we're living.

There you go.

Yeah for road trips!

Childhood. Maybe playing in the yard. Eating bugs. Eating dirt. Climbing trees. Falling from trees. Playing "Pretend". Learning to read. Reading and forgetting yourself. Skinned knees.

These are some things I think of when I think childhood. Also road trips. I think I have just as many memories of road trips as living at home (maybe a closes second) anyway they are fun and have a near and dear place in my heart.


We just went to Yellowstone, it was fun and very educational. Here are a few things we learned;

If you camp (tent) with RVs you get the showers to yourself.
Sagebrush taste VERY strong, a little goes a long way.
Yellowstone sits inside a volcano (comforting).
The stink pots ohh I mean paint pots still stink.
Smoky Bear was real.
You can get a car tan (half of my face is tanner then the other).

So you can see we learned a lot. It was a good trip. We saw moose!!!

Hope you all had a good summer too.


P.S. the sun was really bright.

God, U2 & Pringles

FACT 1: Work is a blessing. More work then I feel like doing seems like a curse.

The other day during my use to be to be three hour work day that turned into a seven hour day (Katie I know what your thinking just listen to the story) anyway the day was dragging on, I tried hard not to be grumpy. Lately God has been showing me when I'm grumpy it takes all the fun out of it for the both of us. So I'm practicing just doing the next thing (bird by bird if you will:)

FACT 2: U2 is one of the best bands of our time and future generations will preform "Grace" and "Canon in D" back to back.

Knowing the above fact I listened to U2 & Green Day's " the Saints are coming"

FACT 3a: People leave stuff in rooms, finding it is one of the joys of housekeeping.

FACT 3b: Pringles are my favorite chips (mainly for the reasons we never had them & you can make duck bills with them)

In I walked to a recently abandoned room and what should I find but a can of Pringles.

ENDING: So there I was in the hallway listening to "the Saints are coming" while eating Pringles.

FACT 4: Sometimes God sounds like Bono and looks like the Pringles man

The sky went crazy...

Some days the sky is like piece of music being played by a piano, some days a violin, some a flute, but today was a full fledged orchestra, everything from the string section to those big drums in the back you can barely hear, yet send a chill up your spine.

This morning started with doubts (see even I'm not perfect;) but as the sermon was being drawn to an end the doubts were silenced. After the sermon comes Sunday School (I go to one of the coolest Sunday school classes I'm half the age of most of them and one third the age of the rest) anyway we were talking about kids, some of the single moms were sharing how they want their kids to see healthy familys, and how much any kids just want to be loved, paid atntion to. By the end of Sunday School the doubts were not only silenced but joy and wanting to be used filled the silence.

The clouds are now all wind instruments, but tonight under the full moon there will be fiddle playing.

"Any man who takes up his cross and goes where he needs to go.( he needs to know) He will never come back, he will die."

A.W. Tozer

the cry

if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding,

and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, 

then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God 

Proverbs 2:3

March 17th

Happy St. Patrick Day!!!!

Remembering

One of the two memories I have of my cousin is standing on my tip toes in my cousins living room, I watch as my cousin showed me the doll house he had made. It was beautiful, three stories high, every room furnished. The best part was in the little bedroom the doll children had a doll house and inside that one, my cousin showed me was yet another house. Yesterday I was able to visit him and his family for the first time since that day fourteen years ago. They are so sweet and kind, their house was full of warmth and beauty. While his son showed me around I looked for the doll house from so long ago. As the clear afternoon light came through the living room, there was the dollhouse sitting contently in it's own nook.

Light

This evening the high school lead the evening serves. In the back there were unlit candles. They invited us (if we wanted to) to go in the back and pray, and just light a candle, we all know the prayers can get to God without a candle, but there is something beautiful about the glow.

Anyway... the glow reminded me of the All Saints Day. Growing up in a primarily Catholic country every All Saints Day the sky was aglow with candles on graves, placed there by their loved ones.

As the memory of the glowing skies came back, I thought how beautiful if we (the Church) shone like those candles on that cold November night.

Christmas

During Christmas break my cousin and I went to see a fairy tale Christmas, we thought the music room was breathtaking.

the weather on days like today is better when you are out in it- A.M.P.

Thank you God for grace,

thank you for laughter about litter on the freeway,

thank you for a calming spirit,

thank you for a cheering smile, 

for cookies, friends, for the rain & the family I came home to.

sun & rain

Rain falling like light from the sky,
Deep clouds that made me think of the sea.
I could hear the orchestra that plays while I'm asleep